I guess what this story shows is that if you wait long enough, anything is worth money.

130-million-year-old poop sells for $960

NEW YORK (AP) -- A pile of dinosaur dung 130 million years old sold at a New York auction Wednesday for nearly $1,000.

The prehistoric deposit fetched $960, said a spokeswoman for Bonhams New York. Its pre-auction estimate was $450.

The fossilized dung is from the Jurassic era, the auction house said. It looks like a rock on the outside and a colorful mineral inside.

The buyer was Steve Tsengas of Fairport Harbor, Ohio. The 71-year-old owns OurPets, a company that sells products to treat dog and cat waste. Tsengas bought the dung in hopes of motivating his employees and using it as a marketing tool by displaying it at the company's booth at trade shows, he said.

I think this is a prime oppertunity to invest in the future. I'm willing to sell my poop for pennies on the dollar. All you have to do is find a place to store it and then one day, you or your relatives can make a mint selling it at auction. And if you decide that you don't want to sell it, just think of all the possibilities. You could charge people a dollar to see my poop or loan it to museums for nationwide touring exhibits. You could also follow this guy's path and use it as an advertising gimmick at trade shows. Who wouldn't want to learn more about spatulas or self-cleaning ovens or whatever it is you're selling when they could also get the oppertunity to see my fossilized poop. It'll be a gold mine, I tell you. An absolute gold mine.

If you want in on this limited time offer, just send me $10 through paypal and I will prompty ship you a sample of my poop. For an additional $5, I can also autograph it for you. Well, autograph a post-it note that will then be stuck to it anyway. Act now while supplies last.

Things continue to be generally awful the past few days. Endless pain, shorter durations of efficacy for the opiates. Like always, I can't trace the problems to anything in the environment and it seems to just be random. The problems I have are always cyclical but what is true is that the downturns get worse over time. The nadir I experience now is lower than one I might have had a couple months ago and that one worse than another half a year back. It's like a roller coaster slowly sliding to Hell.

The smaller therapeutic window for the drugs means that my sleep has been incredibly disturbed over the past few days. Even when exhausted, it takes a long time for the pain relief to kick in enough that I can sleep and then the pain wakes me before I'm fully rested. It's not a situation I'd recommend to anyone. If things continue on in this fashion I might just have to bite the bullet and visit a doctor again and see if anything can be done. If nothing else, maybe I can weasel out a prescription of hillbilly heroin and see if the time release makes me a happier camper.

While at Ubercon, I chatted with Sherry, who also apparently has pain issues. She's practically a walking pharmacy of drugs, most of it in forms I've never tried before. She had not only topic analgesic patches but also steroid patches. I've always thought it might be interesting if I could get a tub of novocaine like they have at dentist offices and lather myself with it. Chances are, I'd just OD myself myself on the stuff though. Besides, I'm not sure if you can just go squirting that stuff into wounds and not run into complications. Still, it sounds like it might be something interesting to try. Maybe I'll try to palm a jar the next time I see a dentist. I'm pretty sure they don't allow people to just pick up a case with a prescription.