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I sense a new marketing campaign

Man accused of choking girlfriend with Wii controller

An Austin man has been accused of trying to choke his girlfriend with the cord of a Wii video game controller after she became angry that he had eaten all of her Girl Scout cookies, according to an arrest affidavit.

Christina Alvarado told Austin police that she woke up her boyfriend, Daniel Alvarez, 21, Monday morning after discovering her cookies were gone, according to the affidavit.

Alvarez became upset that Alvarado woke him and began to yell at her, according to the affidavit. Alvarado told police that Alvarez got her into a choke hold that lasted several seconds before she was able to hit him in the eye to break free, according to the affidavit.

The two struggled until they ended up in the living room, where Alvarez grabbed a Wii controller, according to the affidavit. He put his knees on her chest to pin her down and strangled her with the cord of the video game controller, according to the affidavit.

Alvarado was able to free herself and call 911. Alvarez fled the home but was arrested soon after, according to the affidavit. Alvarado had a faint mark from a cord around her neck, shortness of breath, trouble speaking and was coughing when police arrived, the affidavit said.

Alvarez remained in the Travis County jail today with bail set at $40,000. He is facing second degree felony charges of aggravated assault with serious bodily injury, which is punishable by up to 20 years in prison.

I had never really thought of it before but the Wii controller would make a very good garote. The two pieces are connected by a cable and you could easily use the ends to tighten the noose around the neck. Can't get your wife/girlfriend to shut up? Use the Wii! Sure you bought it for good ol' family gaming but that's no reason to look a gift horse in the mouth. If this goes well, they might event invent a Wii game to take advantage of it. I can see it now, The Masked Throttler, where you sneak around and try to garotte people from behind for bonus points. It wouldn't be the weirdest game the Japanese have come out with. I still remember that game where you played a mosquito and had to fly around biting half nekkid people without getting swatted. At least this game might actually come in handy one day if she just won't shut up while you're trying to sleep.

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
traveling_domo
Feb. 6th, 2009 06:25 am (UTC)
hm i wonder if this will start some sort of angry parents mob against wii controlers that its dangerous place. cause really u can do that to any controler really lol

and that wouldnt be the weirdest japanese game. that holds to "wii pee"
http://www.gametrailers.com/player/usermovies/226475.html
henwy
Feb. 6th, 2009 03:00 pm (UTC)
Holy crap is that deranged. Now that they've built their strap on, it's only a short step until we see Wii-porn.
wanderingasian
Feb. 6th, 2009 06:31 am (UTC)
That should be a new wii fit game.
(Deleted comment)
henwy
Feb. 6th, 2009 02:58 pm (UTC)
Who knows.
raks_rambleings
Feb. 6th, 2009 12:02 pm (UTC)
the seniors center my Mom goes to had to take the Wii away from the old folks cause it caused a fight. In the end it was the wii numchuck against a cane and motorized wheel chair.
When the nurse was explaining it to me she could barely contain her laughter!
henwy
Feb. 6th, 2009 02:57 pm (UTC)
I don't find that surprising at all. The Wii seems designed to cause fights. The damn sensor never picks up movement evenly.
lucystrawberry
Feb. 6th, 2009 01:44 pm (UTC)
henwy
Feb. 6th, 2009 02:57 pm (UTC)
WTF? He can't use that word! That's OUR word! Who the hell does he think he is, taking and using our word? Now he's gone too far.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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