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Not with a bang, but with a whimper

So did I call it or what? Despite the masses of fanbois out there furiously beating off to the Battlestar Galactica finale, I think it really proved my point about the unbelievably shitty and lazy writing. The entire thing might as well be an homage to deus ex machina, and it's not even a metaphor. It actually was fucking God in the machines. At least BSG has that to be proud of. I can't think of the last time we had a literal deus ex machina to kick around.

That said, it's not to say that the finale was all bad. The writers aren't complete talentless hacks. What they seem to excel at is writing in the moment. The action scenes and character dialogue were all very griping and gave you a sense of immediacy and urgency throughout. Where they end up fumbling the ball is when they have to actually tie all these bits of action together into a coherent storyline and provide some form of exposition. I get the idea that we should take the BSG writers and have them write summer blockbuster movies. They'd almost certainly excel at it since all people want there is lotsa action and explosions and tension. It'd be perfect because no one really expects a plot that makes sense or a story. Those are just vehicles so that the protagonist can deliver ballsy one-liners and blow the fuck out of things.

All in all, BSG had such promise but it lead to nothing in the end. I could rattle and ramble on about why the God fixes everything storyline is full of holes and generally sucks, but why bother. If you're an even averagely intelligent human being, you already recognize them just by watching the episode. If you're a decerebrated fanboi, then I'd just be wasting my breath anyway.

I can't help but wish that they had taken all the money spent on making BSG and given it to Michael Straczynski and had him churn out another Babylon 5 like show. Now that many was a God of plotting and tying up all the loose threads. It was such methodical genius where you would watch the series like you were assembling a jigsaw puzzle, never seeing the whole picture until the end but then having all the pieces fit. He never had to resort to the wheel of cylons or cheap cliffhanger gimmicks just for the sake of pandering to the audience. Maybe if I had never seen B5, I would be more kindly disposed toward BSG, but it just set the bar too high. Hell, Stargate SG1 was also tons better than BSG. You'd have to climb pretty far down the ladder before I could come up with something worse. Star Trek Voyager probably fits the bill there though as far as the star trek franchise goes I even liked DS9 better than BSG as far as plotting a large storyarc went despite both having shitty finales.

At least it's over. For now. I had been looking forward to Caprica back before BSG became a steaming pile of shit. I think that for now, I'll have to pass on it unless I hear some really positive word of mouth. The problem there is that any word of mouth is likely to be driven by mouth-breathing fanbois. It's going to be hard to find a neutral and honest opinion amidst all the schlock. Oh well.

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