Florida fireman charged with decapitating bird during pool game
FEBRUARY 7 - A Florida fireman is facing an animal cruelty charge for allegedly biting the head off a pet parrot during a party early yesterday morning. Bruce Coates, 34, told police that he was drinking and could not remember details of the beheading, for which he apologized. According to the below Volusia County Sheriff's Office report, Coates was shooting pool with the late parrot's owner and other partygoers at about 1 AM when he grabbed the bird--a female Quaker parrot named Isabel--from one reveler's shoulder, put the bird's head in his mouth, and decapitated it. Coates, who works for the Edgewater Fire Department, then spit out the parrot's head, tossed the bird's corpse on the floor, and fled the scene. The parrot's owner, Paul Van Sickle, told cops that Isabel was a "talking bird" valued at $200, and was considered a "valued member of his family." Along with the felony animal cruelty count, Coates was hit with a misdemeanor criminal mischief charge for damaging the party space's wall and carpet, which were stained with bird blood.
Now that's one drunken stupor this guy will likely never forget. I'm surprised the parrot didn't peck the hell out of him quite frankly. It's sort of like how I've never understood exactly how people run around stuffing gerbils into each other's asses. I would think that most small rodents when shoved headfirst into a dark, cramped, and smelly location would bite. God knows I would, or at least try to claw my way out.
Oh, and for those of you who didn't get the title reference:
Main Entry: geek
Etymology: probably from English dialect geek, geck fool, from Low German geck, from Middle Low German
1 : a carnival performer often billed as a wild man whose act usually includes biting the head off a live chicken or snake