The Onion's presentation of the Irish Heritage Timeline
My favorite has to be the first entry:
7500 BC - The first humans arrive in Ireland. Prior to this, only the Irish lived there.
Simple and elegant. Sort of sets the mood for what's to come next.
If any of you have a few spare moments during the day, devote a handful of brain cells to this. A solution would likely mean a nobel prize of some sort.
BTW, my birthday is right around the corner. It's time to start thinking about gifts.
Maybe you could Rent a German for me. If you're considering this, please make sure she comes with her support package. I really don't want another incident like last time.