January 2nd, 2004

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From one of those Year in Review articles that caught my eye.

Killer catfish becomes a celeb

31/07/2003 08:53 - (SA)

Germany - "Kuno the Killer Catfish", a giant puppy-eating silurid, has become an international star a week after its untimely death in Germany, authorities here said on Wednesday.

The 1.5-metre-long whiskered wonder made headlines in 2001 after reportedly devouring a small dachshund that had gone for a swim in the pond at the public gardens of this western city.

The rumours of his appetite and substantial girth - 35 kilograms at the last count - put him at the top of the most-wanted list of the Moenchengladbach-Rheydt Anglers Club and drew thousands of curious onlookers to the park.

But for two years, Kuno remained the one who got away. Until last Thursday.

A slimy heavyweight believed to be Kuno went belly up after an enduring drought lowered the water level of the pond.

As news of its death began to spread, calls began flooding in from around the world at the Moenchengladbach city hall looking for information and pictures.

"The fish has become a mascot for Moechengladbach," said a city spokesperson, who has taken calls from as far afield as Tokyo and New York.

Kuno is now to be stuffed and mounted at the local Schloss Rheydt museum.

Beyond his size and tastes, Kuno was also unusual for appearing in a pond so shallow - only 60 centimetres deep at its normal level.

European freshwater catfish normally feed on other fish, frogs, crabs, ducks and rats.
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dance centipedes vagina

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!

GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING PIECE OF PUTRID SHIT. GOD DAMN SHIT FOR BRAINS ARRRRRR AHHHHHHH FUCKERS! DIE FUCKERS DIE! DIE! DIE LIKE THE INCOMPETANT GOAT FUCKING INBRED MORONS YOU ARE! IF I COULD GET MY HANDS ON YOU I'D SKULL FUCK YOU WITH MY KATANA! MOTHER FUCKING GOD. HOW HARD IS IT TO MAKE A SIMPLE PIECE OF ELECTRONIC EQUIPMENT THAT DOSEN'T DIE BEFORE A YEAR IS EVEN PAST YOU GOD DAMN SHIT EATERS. I'D LIKE TO STICK MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS I'D HIT BRAINPAN YOU FUCKERS. AAAAHHHHHHH! DIE! DIE!

AND WHERE THE FUCKING HELL ARE MY PACKAGES?!?! WHAT IS SO FUCKING HARD ABOUT DELIVERING MAIL YOU FUCKING HIGHSCHOOL DROPOUTS? I EVEN WENT TO YOUR PISS ASS POST OFFICE TO GET THE MAIL HELD AND YOU STILL MANAGED TO FUCK IT UP SOMEHOW! GOD DAMN DROOLING IMBECILES. WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A GUN AND BLOW YOUR FUCKING BRAINS OUT ALREADY? INCOMPETANT JACKASSES DOING A JOB EVEN MONKEYS CAN'T FUCK UP, MANAGE TO FUCK IT UP. DIE! DIE!
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