February 5th, 2004

dance centipedes vagina

Death's Door

I think I only just managed to make a saving throw against poison and survive. I wouldn't have been surprised if I was going to croak just a few hours ago. All of a sudden I got the chills and started shaking like a leaf at the lab. I put on my jacket, turned up the heat, and considered taking every single lab coat in the are and making a burial mound I could crawl into. I just couldn't stop shaking. I slowly made my way to my car, taking baby steps and hunched over and rasping like a plague victim. It was pretty God awful having to go outside but I somehow made it to my apartment, upon which I closed all the windows, put on more clothing, and climbed under a pile of 4 blankets. It took forever before I actually warmed up and I couldn't really manage to sleep despite how tired I am. I was probaly asleep for 2 hours total and I remember waking up at least a half dozen times during that period.

I finally crawled out of my coccoon a few minutes ago and I'm not longer chilled to be bone. My head aches like crazy and I'm coughing a bit, but no chills. So I was thinking....sure this wasn't fatal and probaly never could have been, but I almost never get sick. I've only gotten the chills like this one other time in my life and I don't think I've ever picked up the flu, since peopel tell me it lasts longer than this. So on the grand scale of sickness for me, this is at the extreme end. If it were fatal, you would have lost access to my wisdom and intellect to add some small spice to your normally bland lives. I think it's time you take an account of how much you love and need me, and then send gifts as appropriate. I won't always be here and you should show your gratitude through gifts while I'm still around to enjoy them.

Send it express mail....my head and chest still hurt.
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