April 13th, 2005

dance centipedes vagina

Baby Seals = Yummy

So something trip posted in his journal reminded me of a link that mock had sent me ages ago. I had meant to use it to bait the hippies on sissyfight or maybe some other forum I'm on but it slipped my mind. I figured it's as good a time to bring it up here for the entertainment value if nothing else. I present:

Pets or Food

Baby Seal

Price: $68.99
Shipping Weight: 40.00 pounds

Pets or Food™ is proud to announce that we have renewed our exclusive arrangement with Russia's premier furrier to provide freshly clubbed and frozen baby seal meat to American dinner tables! Order now while supplies last!

Now, I dunno about the rest of you but I'm sure baby seals taste great. I mean, the fat content of the meat alone must make it tender as all get out. Not to mention the fabulous price. I mean, where else can you get baby seal meat for only a buck 60 a pound? Eh? Someone should look into really providing this service. I'm sure seals are atkins friendly.

Heck, why don't we just cut out the middleman. One of you canadians go out back and club a seal and ship it to me. I'll be sure to write a full review of how I prepare it and how it tasted.

Looks like the quota this year is 319,500 seals. It looks like the things are too stupid or helpless to even run. Just go out and brain one of them and send it over. Just be sure to send it overnight and pack some dry ice with it so the meat dosen't go bad.

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dance centipedes vagina

Hillbilly Hodown Part II

First we have cousins marrying cousins and now this. It's been a busy couple of weeks in Wanker county it seems.

Family feud erupts after teens date; 6 wounded

Monday, April 11, 2005 Posted: 12:35 PM EDT (1635 GMT)

CRESCENT CITY, Florida (AP) -- Members of neighboring families shot at each other, wounding six people, as part of a long-running feud that victims said peaked when a girl from one family began dating a boy from the other one.

Six people ages 14 to 22 were taken to hospitals Sunday for treatment of gunshot wounds. Two remained hospitalized Monday, one in serious condition.

Baldemar Riojas, 46, was charged with six counts of aggravated battery with a firearm. He was freed on $15,000 bail.

Members of the Soliz and Ortiz families say their feud with the neighboring Riojas family has simmered for more than a year and became more heated when Riojas' teenage daughter started dating Miguel Soliz, 15, who was among the wounded.

"All this started because they were dating," said Melva Ortiz, Miguel's mother. "I tried to tell him to leave the girl, but you know how kids are."

Maj. Rick Ryan of the Putnam County sheriff's office said members of both families had guns and fired across a street at each other.

However, he said investigators had been stymied by the families' reluctance to talk to authorities. "We get out there and nobody knows anything," Ryan said.

Angelica Soliz, a cousin of the victims, said she hid under a bed during the gunfire early Sunday.

"We just threw ourselves to the floor, and the people who got shot, they didn't have a chance," said another family member, Maria Ortiz, 22.

The violence had been building for hours. A fight broke out Saturday night among dozens of opposing family members, but the sheriff's office said there was not enough information for an arrest.

Riojas' 20-year-old son, Baldomero Riojas, was questioned and released, but Putnam County sheriff's deputies plan to pursue a charge of reckless display of a firearm against him for allegedly firing into the air. A third man was being sought.

Riojas' wife said her husband was not responsible.

"My husband's not a violent person. He's been in the United States for 24 years and he's never been in trouble," Lisa Riojas told WJXT-TV of Jacksonville.

Ana Diaz, 14, who was wounded in the back, was in serious but stable condition Monday at Hallifax Medical Center in Daytona Beach. The only other person hospitalized, Miguel Ortiz, 22, was in good condition at Shands Hospital in Gainesville.

I wonder if this is some sort of exchange program with Mexico gone bad. They send us mexican hillbillies and we send them whiteys who like to do landscaping and housekeeping. What a buncha morons.
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