December 2nd, 2005

dance centipedes vagina

Inevitable holiday memes

Blame Jirel for this one.

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My LiveJournal 12 Days
My True Love gave to me...
12 jstads a-clucking.
11 candierains a-twirling.
10 kahvis a-calling.
9 darkengobots a-hooting.
8 jirels a-munching.
7 littlestinks a-swallowing.
6 quartzies a-laughing.
5 white jeanie3s.
4 chuckling modestas.
3 Norwegian mock26s.
2 dog chocodiablos.
And a vala_amaris in a papaya tree.
Get gifts! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.


Well, it seems sorta accurate. Mock does have that whole scandinavian obsession. Jeanie is unbelievably lily white. Jirel is off that restrictive diet whozit. I always figured stinky would be a swallower. Choco was littlepuppy. The rest don't seem all that fitting though. I'm not sure I wanna see juju up a tree. She'd probaly just get dizzy and then fall on whoever was underneath it.
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dance centipedes vagina

Satanic Cat Watch: Day 978

Stowaway cat arrives home from France

Thursday, December 1, 2005; Posted: 7:06 p.m. EST (00:06 GMT)

MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin (AP) -- Emily the cat is back -- after flying home in the lap of luxury.

The curious cat who wound up traveling to France in a cargo container touched down at the Milwaukee airport on Thursday, greeted by her family and a horde of reporters.

A Continental cargo agent handed her over to 9-year-old Nick Herndon, son of the cat's owners, Donny and Lesley McElhiney. Emily meowed and pawed at reporters' microphones as the family answered questions.

"She'll be held onto a lot all the way home. And then when we get home, too, she'll be cuddled a lot," Donny McElhiney said.

Her sumptuous return in business class on a Continental Airlines flight was a sharp departure from her trip to France, where she was found thin and thirsty but still alive.

"She seems a little calmer than she was before, just a little quieter, a little, maybe, wiser," said Lesley McElhiney, 32.

Emily vanished from her Appleton home in late September. She apparently wandered into a nearby paper company's distribution center and crawled into a container of paper bales.

The container went by truck to Chicago and by ship to Belgium before the cat was found October 24 at Raflatac, a laminating company in Nancy, France. Workers there used her tags to phone her veterinarian, who called the McElhineys.

Continental offered to fly the cat home from Paris after Emily's tale spread around the world and she cleared a one-month quarantine.

"This was such a marvelous story, that we wanted to add something to it," Continental spokesman Philippe Fleury told AP Television News at Charles de Gaulle airport.

After one Continental employee escorted Emily from Paris to Newark, New Jersey, cargo agent Gaylia McLeod accompanied the cat aboard a 50-seater from Newark to Milwaukee.

"I know it's close to the holidays," a tearful McLeod said. "I'm happy to be a part of reuniting Emily with her family."

On her flight home, Emily passed up a menu of peppered salmon filet and "opted for her French cat food" and some water, airline spokeswoman Courtney Wilcox said.

Apparently all that French food did Emily some good.

"She's bigger and heavier than before," Nick said.


My God, it's finally reached our shores. I can't believe those morons let it off the plane. What happened to those anti-aircraft guns and air to air missiles? Those fools may have just doomed us all. A satanic cat joined with the evil diabolic powers of the French....has the world ever known such a chilling combination of horror?

And of course it's heavier, you idiots. It's chock full of evil. As everyone knows evil is a force in the universe. Force is energy. Energy can be convereted interchangeably with mass so that a small amount of mass equals large amounts of energy. That's the very principle behind nukes after all. So how could the forces of Satan guarentee that their little dirty bomb came back with enough evil to destroy us all? Stuff the cat with it, of course, in the form of french food. You can see from the news story how even on the plane it was continuing to gorge itself on evil, preparing to lead the abyssal legions of Satan once it arrived.

Oh, I'm sure it'll lay low for the time being, but slowly it will release its store of concentrated evil. Those fools there will never realize the peril they've put the entire country in, no doubt telling themselves that it just looks like the cat is losing weight. The only possible response is to kill it now and then catapult the corpse back to the dark infernal pits of france from whence it came. There isn't a moment to lose god damnit. Even now the infection is spreading in Wisconsin and God only knows how long it'll take before it starts encroaching on places that matter.
dance centipedes vagina

The Journey to Socal Day 1 to 1.3

So I've finally decided to go and caption these damn pictures already. Most of you probaly don't give a damn one way or the other but it gets this weight off me and the feeling that if I went through the effort of taking them I should at least post them.

As you may recall, at the start of this trip I wasn't exactly revved up with excitment. I was pretty much all con'ed out for the time being and visiting hippieland wasn't exactly thrilling me at the moment. Top that off with there weren't any real events that I wanted to attend other than some staples that were already present at indy, and I had pretty low expectations. The nice thing about low expectations of course, is that it's easy to meet and surpass them. On to the pictures.

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dance centipedes vagina

Ah, irony. You provide so much and ask for so little in return

Kidnappers threaten to kill peace activists

Friday, December 2, 2005; Posted: 7:50 p.m. EST (00:50 GMT)

BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP) -- The kidnappers of four Christian peace activists threatened to kill the hostages unless all prisoners in U.S. and Iraqi detention centers are released, according to a videotape broadcast Friday by Al-Jazeera television.

The tape showed what the broadcaster said were two Canadian hostages. An American and a Briton are also being held. In a statement delivered with the tape, the kidnappers gave the two governments until December 8 to meet their demands, according to Al-Jazeera.

The hostages called on the U.S. and British governments to withdraw from Iraq, Al-Jazeera reported, quoting the statement from the kidnappers, who earlier identified themselves as the Swords of Righteousness Brigade, a previously unknown group.

The corner of the video showed two crossed black swords and the name of the insurgent group written in red Arabic script -- the same emblem shown in an earlier video of the hostages.

The group has claimed that the kidnapped men, from the Chicago-based Christian Peacemaker Teams, were spies working under the cover of peace activists. The group denied spying.

...

The Christian activists -- Tom Fox, 54, of Clear Brook, Virginia; Norman Kember, 74, of London; James Loney, 41, of Toronto; and Harmeet Singh Sooden, 32, of Canada -- had been repeatedly warned by Iraqi and Western security officials that they were taking a grave risk by moving about Baghdad without bodyguards.

...

Kember's family said he was opposed to the U.S. presence in Iraq.

"He was in Iraq because of human rights abuses against the Iraqi people," the family said in a statement.

...


Hilarious. You gotta love these moron 'peace activists'. There's just something delicious about them being hauled up by the same people they claim to want to help while battling for a US pullout. I certainly hope they don't expect our demonic millitary to actually go in and help them now. As far as I'm concerned, they're on their own. Even with their agenda aside, the stupidity of moving around there la-de-da after being warned repeatedly just makes them a darwin award waiting to happen. Good riddance. It might just clean out the gene pool some. Maybe to show their solidarity their family members should run through a crack-infested ghetto at night waving around hundred dollar bills and sporting tons of jewlery.
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