June 6th, 2006

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The devil made me do it

dance centipedes vagina

Satanic Cat Watch: Day 1222

I have just stumbled over exclusive video showing that cats are being trained to target and destroy technology. These skills will no doubt be used during the coming uprising to blunt our ability to respond to their attack and sow the seeds of chaos and panic among the population. This is not a new strategy, and is reminiscent of the development of EM pulse weapons, but far more insideous because many unususpecting fools have yet these foot soldiers into their home as 'pets'. Thus, they will never see the attack coming until it is too late.

Let us view this video. As we can see, the training begins early. The kitten relentlessly attacks the screen, and we can only imagine the damage that could be done by a full grown cat with sharpened claws. Faced with an inability to disable to device by clawing and biting, we can see it try to plug the machine by pulling on the AC cord. Now, it's obvious that this particular kitten has only just entered training but we can already see it rigidly obeying its programming. It would not surprise me at all if a full grown attack cat could destroy all the vital communication equipment and technology in a home within minutes. When the day of the final battle comes, many will receive no advance warning and will be completely cut off from the world at large. Thus will the handmaidens of Satan attempt to divide us and conquer.