June 24th, 2006

dance centipedes vagina

What goes up....

Man wins $400K for 10-year implant malfunction

Friday, June 23, 2006; Posted: 7:51 p.m. EDT (23:51 GMT)

PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island (AP) -- A former handyman has won more than $400,000 in a lawsuit over a penile implant that gave him a 10-year erection.

Charles "Chick" Lennon, 68, received the steel and plastic implant in 1996, about two years before Viagra went on the market. The Dura-II is designed to allow impotent men to position the penis upward for sex, then lower it.

But Lennon could not position his penis downward. He said he could no longer hug people, ride a bike, swim or wear bathing trunks because of the pain and embarrassment. He has become a recluse and is uncomfortable being around his grandchildren, his lawyer said.

In 2004, a jury awarded him $750,000. A judge called that excessive and reduced it to $400,000. On Friday, the Rhode Island Supreme Court affirmed that award in a ruling that turned on a procedural matter.

"I don't know any man who for any amount of money would want to trade and take my client's life," said Jules D'Alessandro, Lennon's attorney. "He's not a whole person."

A lawyer representing both Dura-II manufacturer Dacomed Corp. and the company's insurer declined to comment. Dacomed maintained that nothing was wrong with the implant.

The implant consists of a series of plastic plates strung together with steel surgical wire, almost like a roll of wrapped coins. Springs press against the plates, creating enough surface tension to simulate an erection, D'Alessandro said.

Lennon cannot get the implant removed because of health problems, including open-heart surgery, his lawyer said. Impotence drugs could not help Lennon even if he were able to have the device taken out, because tissue had be to removed for it to be implanted.

Dacomed was later acquired by a California company whose sales dropped when Viagra was introduced on the market. The company filed for bankruptcy the following year.

Maybe someone should have tried the nekkid Helen Thomas treatment. If that dosen't get the erection to go down, nothing will. Frankly, it still seems a bit excessive to me to give someone 400k for something like this. He should have just gone and bought himself really baggy pants. Or maybe he could have taken a page from kids in junior highschool and just put a book in front of it.
dance centipedes vagina

Turtle soup for everyone

'Darwin's tortoise' dies, age 176

Saturday, June 24, 2006; Posted: 1:42 a.m. EDT (05:42 GMT)

SYDNEY, Australia (AP) -- A 176-year-old tortoise, believed by some to have been owned by Charles Darwin, has died in an Australian zoo.

The giant tortoise, known as Harriet, was long reputed to have been one of three tortoises taken from the Galapagos Islands by Darwin on his historic 1835 voyage aboard the HMS Beagle.

However, historical records, while suggestive, don't prove the claim, and some scientists have cast doubt on the story, with DNA tests confirming Harriet's age but showing she came from an island that Darwin never visited.


"She is possibly one of the oldest living creatures on the planet and her passing today is not only a great loss for the world but a very sad day for my family. She was a grand old lady."

Harriet was believed to be the world's oldest living tortoise, and one of its oldest living creatures. Despite her longevity, however, Harriet is not the world's oldest known tortoise.

That title was awarded by the Guinness Book of World Records to Tui Malila, a Madagascar radiated tortoise that was presented to the royal family of Tonga by British explorer Captain James Cook in the 1770s. It died in 1965 at the ripe age of 188.

Scientist Paul Chambers cast doubt on Harriet's Darwin connection in an article in the New Scientist magazine and a book, "The Unexpected History of the Giant Tortoise."

Now, that would be a kickass shell to have once you polished it up a bit. It'd make a hugeass candy dish if nothing else. And look, the picture of the turtle has Steve Irwin in it. I hope that it's not dead because he took a dare to stick his entire head up its cloaca or something.

I'm not quite sure I get why it says the oldest living turtle was 188 years old. A few months ago, I remember seeing another article about a turtle that had kicked off at 255. Maybe there's some sort of behind the scenes power struggle to the title of world's oldest turtle or something. Anyway, here's the link to the other turtle death. Maybe someone should mail the guiness people and tell them to get it sorted out.