June 27th, 2006

dance centipedes vagina

The corporal is eating tin cans again

Goat demoted for parade incident

Handler: Commander 'had no option but to demote Billy'

Saturday, June 24, 2006; Posted: 6:22 p.m. EDT (22:22 GMT)

LONDON, England (AP) -- A British army regiment's ceremonial pet goat was demoted in disgrace after it marched out of line before a host of international dignitaries during a parade to mark Queen's Elizabeth II's birthday, a military spokesman said Saturday.

The military mascot, a 6-year-old male goat called Billy, was downgraded from the rank of lance corporal to fusilier -- the same status as a private -- after army chiefs ruled his poor display had ruined the ceremony June 16 at a British army base in Episkopi, western Cyprus.

Lance Cpl. Dai Davies, 22, the goat's handler, was unable to keep control during the march earlier this month, as the mascot darted from side to side, throwing soldiers off their stride, spokesman Captain Crispian Coates said by telephone from Episkopi -- one of two British bases on the island.

"The goat, which has been the regiment's mascot since 2001, was supposed to be leading the march, but would not stay in line," said Coates. "He was reported for subordination and after consideration, the commanding officer decided he had no option but to demote Billy."

Since his demotion, soldiers of a lower rank are no longer expected to salute Billy as a sign of respect, Coates said.

Captain William Rose, a soldier present at the parade, said the goat "was trying to headbutt the waist and nether regions of the drummers."


"He is not a grazing goat and has food flown in from Wales. Billy also has an allowance of two cigarettes a day -- both of which he eats," said the spokeswoman.

Just when you think things couldn't get more bizzare. The idea that soldiers were forced to salute a goat is pretty ludicrous. I can just imagine someone saying with horror, 'You can't demote Billy! He's the source of all of our military strategy!'.
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The Night Before Origins


[X] Maps/directions both there and back
[X] Backpack/Suitcase
[X] Packing
[X] Games/Nightmare Before Christmas Cards
[X] Print schedule, Evite, other whozits
[X] Electronics (MP3 player, digital camera, cell phone)
[X] Badge Holder

Feh. I still can't even find my damn backpack. I've turned these rooms upside down and still can't find the damn thing. It's really starting to piss me off.

Welp, I'm going to borrow my sister's backpack and after stuffing the games and NBC cards into it, I'm close to being all set.

More or less set at this point. It's 4am at the moment. Now the question is whether to get a few more hours sleep or just putter about until it's time to leave.

So I'll be out of touch until monday. If anyone needs me for any reason just ring my cell. I'm going to leave the # in a friends-locked post immediately following this.

Attn jirel: Give me a ring at some point. I think you're the only person I don't have contact info for.