January 29th, 2007

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I should be in bed

Well, Dreamation is officially over and my sleep-deprived self should be sleeping. I'm not exactly sure why I'm not or, rather, I'm not sure which of a few reasons is responsible for the lack of unconsciousness.

The con went okay, though it was a sort of a trial for me. The chronic pain situation makes it incredibly arduous to attend these things or do much of anything really. It becomes a sort of extra tax that has to be paid in addition to the normal time commitments, sleep deprivation, etc. I'm almost certain that that is what has me still burnt out on gaming in general. If you had to walk across a field of broken glass in order to engage in a hobby you enjoy, you tend to find that you enjoy the hobby less and less. At this point in time, I'm just worried about origins and gencon and how I'll be functioning by then. Things just seem to be getting worse and I don't even want to think about what it could be like when you toss in a long distance extended trip.

As for Dremation itself, the BG room ran pretty smoothly. For what must be the first time ever, almost everything seemed to fill up and ran. If anything, the schedule was actually lacking and you saw a lot of people open gaming left and right. It seems that we've basically hit the other extreme after all those other cons when DNR (did not run) seemed to be the order of the day. This tightness of schedule also meant that there wasn't always much to do. I played next to nothing and spent my time sitting or lying around for the most part. Even if you wanted to get in on a game that you were running or something else, there usually weren't open slots after all other players had sat down. The con became a sort of drifty purgatory and all I can say is that it was nice to have Matt and Joyce around. I find those two to be more and more spiffy the longer I know them.

The sleep issue has been a real pain lately. Nothing screws with normal restful sleep like pain and you always seem to be the most vulnerable when you're tired. Usually after double exposure cons I pass out and fail to get up again for at least a good 12 hours. This time around, I just couldn't manage to get to sleep. I popped some opiates earlier and finally managed to doze off only to awake in a drooling stupor to find that I had only been asleep for like a hour and change. I popped some more ibuprofen and it's only now that I'm starting to feel like I could doze off again.

It's funny really. Even when I'm tired, it seems that I desire sleep only when it's not really obtainable due to pain. When meds actually kick in and things get a little better, all I want to do is sit around and enjoy the reverie. It almost seems a waste to go to bed and instead I can just sit here and float along for a while.