March 6th, 2007

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Nosferatu Slobie

Vampire hunters drove stake through Milosevic's heart

Serbian vampire hunters rammed a wooden stake through the heart of former dictator Slobodan Milosevic to stop him 'returning from the dead'.

Miroslav Milosevic, no relation to the former president, gave himself up to police who have launched an investigation.

He claimed he and his fellow vampire hunters acted to stop the former dictator returning from the dead to haunt the country.

Milosevic's Socialist Party of Serbia, which led the country to civil war and oversaw the break up of the former Yugoslavia, condemned the desecration of the grave in the eastern town of Pozarevac.

The vampire hunters told police the three-foot-long wooden steak had been driven into the ground and through the late president's heart.

Slobodan Milosevic died on March 11, 2006, while on trial before a UN war crimes tribunal for his role in the 1990s break-up of the former Yugoslavia.

Slobodan Milosevic's daughter-in-law Milica Gajic said she planned to sue the vampire hunters and accused the police of failing to protect the grave properly.

Better safe than sorry as far as I'm concerned. There are always whiney bastards out there who will second guess and whine about the rights of the corpse. Of course, they're nowhere to be found when the ghoul rises from the dead and begins to desanguinate entire neighborhoods. Besides, did you ever see that widow's peak he was sporting? Add a black opera cloak and Slobie could have been Dracula's fat younger brother.

Hat tip to kobold