September 9th, 2007

dance centipedes vagina

Dosen't exactly inspire confidence, does it?

Goats sacrificed to fix Nepal jet

Nepal's state-run airline has confirmed that it sacrificed two goats to appease a Hindu god, following technical problems with one of its aircraft.

Nepal Airlines said the animals were slaughtered in front of the plane - a Boeing 757 - at Kathmandu airport.

The offering was made to Akash Bhairab, the Hindu god of sky protection, whose symbol is seen on the company's planes.

The airline said that after Sunday's ceremony the plane successfully completed a flight to Hong Kong.

"The snag in the plane has now been fixed and the aircraft has resumed its flights," senior airline official Raju KC was quoted as saying by Reuters.

Nepal Airlines has two Boeing aircraft in its fleet.

The persistent faults with one of the planes had led to the postponement of a number of flights in recent weeks.

The company has not said what the problem was, but reports in local media have blamed an electrical fault.


I don't think I'm ever going to complain about any flight I take anymore after reading about this crap. I might have problems with Continental or Southwest or whoever, but at least I can be pretty sure they're not sacrificing goats in order to repair airplanes. I wonder how the passangers on board felt about the fact that goats were being toasted in the hopes their plane would actually get off the ground and not turn into a flaming ball of death.

Now, I'm not saying Mr Sky God wouldn't be helpful in a lot of different circumstances. He might excel at picking lucky numbers for the lottery, for instance, or making sure that your yak dosen't die of hoof and mouth. I'm just not sure that he's the guy I'd call in for an electrical problem. Still, considering how much an electrician charges nowadays, it might be a bargain at two goats.
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What goes around....

Reporter who mocked Bush on Segway suffers own spill


Call it irony or call it karma.

The ex-newspaper editor from Britain who mocked President Bush in 2003 for falling off a Segway scooter has now suffered his own spill from the personal transportation device – and the plunge was caught on camera.

As displayed on Breitbart.tv, Piers Morgan, formerly of the Daily Mirror and now a columnist for the Mail on Sunday's Live magazine, is shown riding and falling off one of the two-wheeled, motorized, gyroscopically balanced scooters that its makers promise will never fall over.

The Daily Mirror ran the headline four years ago: "You'd have to be an idiot to fall off, wouldn't you Mr. President."

It added: "If anyone can make a pig's ear of riding a sophisticated, self-balancing machine like this, Dubya can."

According to the UK's Daily Mail, Morgan broke three ribs after falling off the Segway at 12 mph in Southern California, just three days before he was slated to appear as a judge on the grand finale of the reality show, "America's Got Talent."

The paper says: "He can be seen cruising comfortably along the promenade at Santa Monica beach. Inexplicably, his delicate sense of balance fails him. The Segway swerves to the right, mounting the [curb]. Morgan's 'toned muscular, tanned, superfit torso' (as he describes it) continues straight along the road but sadly his feet remain planted to the rogue Segway. Inevitably he falls victim to gravity and crunches on to the baking concrete, where he lies, agonized, until a companion can come to his rescue."


ROFL.

My God, you've got to love things like this. It's almost enough to make you believe there is a grand architect to the universe and a giant finger descended from the Heavens to knock this guy on his ass just for the lolz.

The best part is he actually broke three ribs and got a partially collapsed lung out of the deal. What kinda moron manages to break multiple bones falling off a segway? The damn thing is like 6 inches off the ground and moves at a fast walking pace. I feel perfectly free to mock this jackasss, since I am absolutely certain I will never ride a segway, ever. That's the only way to be safe from the hand of God.