October 20th, 2007

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Bubbling on the stove

I feel like crap warmed over.

It's been a pretty blech day all around and it's like I've been subjected to the whole death from a thousand cuts idea. There are a lot of things that are just chipping away at me right now. Everything from the insomnia and general sleep disturbance to the pain issues. What's most obnoxious about the latter is that it's nothing horrendous exactly so I haven't been going out of my way to medicate it. That means that I'm left with issues that are above the point of detection by a good measure but not so bad I'm popping a lot of opiates. It's like walking around with a sharp pebble constantly in your shoe or sleeping on a handful of d4's. The whole thing just grates at you and I'm left feeling incredibly muddleheaded and incessantly crappy.

I just shot up with some more Enbrel a couple hours ago and to my complete lack of surprise, it still dosen't seem to be doing anything worthwhile. Feh. On the plus side, now that my fear of needles has been managed, it opens up whole new possibilities such as being a heroin junkie one day. The entire process still kicks up a good chunk of stress and sends the heart racing, but at least I can get it over and done with without any real fuss.

Blah.
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There are no do-overs

People always disapoint you. It's one reason why a happy person is one which dosen't put overly much trust in people in general. Hell, it's not like I generally expect people to be paragons of virtue but it's sometimes a bit appalling the things that they'll do. What's often so disturbing about it is if you really didn't see it as being part of their nature. The whole cognitive dissonance of the situation is incredibly unsettling. Not to mention, it's hard not to wonder how good a judge of character you really are.

Are we defined by our actions or can good people do bad things and still be wholly a good person?

Which acts cross the line and forever taint your impression or opinion of another person?

For all that I often entertain fond thoughts of mowing people down with a machine gun, I'm a pretty moral person. Almost naively so. I have this tendancy to view things in black or white terms and lump people into one side or the other. It reminds me of a scene from a book by Elizabeth Moon called Divided Allegiance.

"A paladin can sense good and evil directly," he began. "Now you might think that would make everything simple: on one side are the bad people, and you kill them, and over here are the good people, and they cheer for you."

It might not be as extreme as that, but sometimes I get the impression that my worldview shrinks down to something along those lines. It all depends on whether a redline has been crossed I guess.
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If your magic wand starts to vibrate, you're playing with it too much

I woke up today to a distant sound. It sounded as if a million voices had squee'd out in joy, and then were silent.

J.K. Rowling has outed one of the main characters of her best-selling Harry Potter series, telling fans in New York that the wizard Albus Dumbledore, head of Hogwarts school, is gay.

Speaking at Carnegie Hall on Friday night in her first U.S. tour in seven years, Rowling confirmed what some fans had always suspected -- that she "always thought Dumbledore was gay," reported entertainment Web site E! Online.

Rowling said Dumbledore fell in love with the charming wizard Gellert Grindelwald but when Grindelwald turned out to be more interested in the dark arts than good, Dumbledore was "terribly let down" and went on to destroy his rival.

That love, she said, was Dumbledore's "great tragedy."

"Falling in love can blind us to an extent," she said.

The audience reportedly fell silent after the admission -- then erupted into applause.

The silence was due to the fact that they immediately scurried off to write more slash fiction involving dumbledore engaging in watersports in the male prefects' bathroom. To be followed by furious masturbatory celebrations, of course.

Cripes. So he's a homo. So what? I mean, it's not as if it were hard to tell. He spent 6 books grooming Harry Potter and we all knew he was going to hit that the minute it turned legal. Death simply came to him before he had the chance. If he didn't die, book 7 would have been called Harry Potter and the Magical Rimjob. It certainly puts the whole battle between him and Grindelwald into perspective. In fact, I'll bet anything that there are already multiple stories being popped online right now taking that into consideration.

I've always thought Harry Potter fans were sorta wonky but that's mostly because they mostly consist of horny slash writers/readers. Frankly, I don't see the thrill but it apparently gives middleaged heterosexual women something to do. Since heterosexual men are usually the ones filming and/or writing about lesbian porn, I guess that makes some sort of sense.

I just don't see the point in cheering the fact that he was gay. It's not like she made that a pivitol part of his character as told in the books, which might actually have provided a positive rolemodel or something. It was completely incidental as is. To just toss it off after the fact seems not only sorta cowardly, but incredibly self-serving to boot. 'I have something to tell you kids. Dumbledore is really....Pakistani!' *awed silence* *cheers break out* WTF?