February 17th, 2008

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Wasted oppertunity

I was channel flipping just now and ran across a college gymnastics competition on ESPN and I couldn't help feeling a little melancholy twinge in my soul. I can't really help it and it happens every time. I just can't shake the feeling that all the participants should be nekkid and there should be closeups as if it were porn. I mean, it should be porn, right? Hell, someone back me up here. The only reason most of us even watch it is it has an almost quasi-porn quality to it. All those splits and bends and acrobatic machinations that look like they came out of the kama sutra.

It's like Giada de Laurentis on the food network. I just know that her show is really porn. I mean, gods, have you ever seen it? She's always there bouncing about and practicly popping out of the low-cut whatever she's wearing. Then there's the porn-like lighting, the baw-chika-wow sort of music, and all the closeups to supposedly show you what she's doing with her hands but always has her boobs in the shot. I catch a few minutes of the show a couple weeks ago and she actually said 'I like to start slow so I don't get cream all over me' while beating a bowl full of something white. You can't tell me that's not intentional.

I just know I'm not alone in all of this.



I'm really not an oversexed individual when it comes right down to it. Hell, ask anyone who knows me and I'm sure they'd back up the fact that I might as well be androgenous half the time and it probably wouldn't make all that much of a difference. This is where I draw the line though. College cheerleading should be nekkid and Giada's show should just be porn already, damnit.