December 13th, 2008

stargate whacko

It's like the special olympics

It's always good when you run across something ridiculously hilarious. It's even better when it's more than one.

I've been spending a lot of time on deal forums and sites, and while there have been some really great posts, there are also plenty of others that just make you wonder. One recent item that someone felt the need to share was the fact that is selling a fist-shaped, vibrating massager for $2. Talk about getting something for the person who already has everything. Just take a look at this thing:

My favorite though is the description.

This fist-shaped vibrating massager features an angled design that makes it easy to scratch those hard-to-reach itches.

*snicker* Ya, I'm sure there are plenty of women out there who know just how hard it is to scratch the itch. It also helps that the fist looks like it belongs to a white-gloved Mickey Mouse. It might be a niche sort of fetish, but I'm sure anyone out there who has ever fantasized about being fisted by Mickey Mouse is going to have a merry christmas.

In other realms of stupid, today (well, friday to be exact) is/was 'Day without a Gay'. This particular chunk of stupidity was encouraging people to not go into work and instead 'Call In Gay'. While the campaign is an exercise in idiocy, I do really like the idea that there were people out there calling into work because of it.

'Umm, I'm afraid I can't make it to work today. I'm feeling a bit Homo. It'll probably pass over the weekend and I'll be back on Monday.'

I'm not sure that equating homosexuality with a 24-hour stomach flu was the greatest idea in the world. That's not the best part though. I was looking at some news articles reporting about the general failure of the event when I ran across the greatest headline ever.

Gays down tools in protests against same-sex wedding ban

You just know whoever came up with that had a good snicker over it. Hell, I'm sure the entire protest might have had more success if they did just have gays down tools over it. More people might have participated anyway.
books seuss grinch happyface

SAM ISO Bi-J-C /w NK for BD LDR *

For the first time ever, the existence of Craig's list has actually resulted in a positive. I was finally able to foist off those cases of energy drink for some small pittance. It was harder than it should have been. All in all, I had to repost the item twice and the first two people who said they were interested flaked on me and never showed. I guess the third time's the charm. I just got finished exchanging the product for cash. Turns out the guy picked up some for himself, some for his dad, and he's going to try to flip the rest at some nascar convention or somesuch. I'm guessing these things must retail for around a buck fifty per pop, so it's not a bad profit margin if he can offload them.

Frankly, I just don't get energy drinks. That's probably mostly because I'm a non-responder when it comes to caffeine. I never get that pick-me-up boost that people are always talking about. The one time I gave caffeine a whirl was in college when I had a final I was completely unprepared for. I ended up popping 6 pills of vivarin that had been in that welcome-to-college-here's-a-shoebox-full-of-advertising-and-free-samples we all got at the start of the year. It didn't wake me up but it did put me into a zombified state where I couldn't sleep, but couldn't do anything else either. I ended up staggering to the final, stopping every block or so to vomit noisily into the bushes or whatever was at hand. I still remember puking into a waterfountain at one point on my journey. Anyway, suffice to say that I failed my Physics II final exam and I never trusted caffine again.

In addition to not having any pleasant stimulant effects, the amount of calories in a can of this stuff is insane. Six pack of energy drink vs ice cream sundae, and it's not even close. Not that you're forced to one or the other, but it just seems to be a huge mismatch.

So now that I'm done with the energy drinks, all the Wii's are on their way, the lego advent calenders are long gone, and I sold most of Connie's knickknacks for her, all I need is to find something new to flip to keep myself occupied. I picked up 10 copies of Blokus 3D at a good price and I'll see how those go. If I can't find anyone who wants to pay for them, they'll make for nice Christmas presents. Blokus 3D is based on Rumis, which I got a chance to try at Ubercon. It's not a bad game at all, and usually I'm not one for spatial puzzles. I'm not exactly bad at them, it's just that I prefer not to use my brain any more than necessary when playing board games. Anything that requires actual thought and concentration over an extended period of time is usually a downer.

* In case you were curious, that would translate as a Single/Straight Asian male in search of a Bisexual Jewish couple with no kids for Bondage-dominance long distance relationship. Disturbing, eh?