In the darkness the trees are full of starlight (henwy) wrote,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight
henwy

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A new low

This could very easily be the absolutely worst movie I have ever seen in my life from an expecation standpoint. I never thought I would say this but I think that even I lack sufficient bile to fully express how bad the Matrix: Revolutions is. Watching it was an experience so painful that I feel like I should get down on my hands and knees and give George Lucas a blowjob for bashing revenge of the sith. That's how shockingly awful this experience has been.

Now, I wasn't overly fold of Matrix: Reloaded to say the least. After that god damn zion dancing scene out of national geographic, I started to sympathize with the machines and their view of mankind. God knows I wouldn't have minded seeing that entire city and its inhabitants bleached raw. The one saving grace of that movie however was the conversation with the architech and the revelations of what all the movies had been about. It gave the entire series to that point a thin veneer of philosophy, a point, something that went deeper than people wearing black dresses shooting other people with machine guns and flipping around. All of that was not only lost in this film, but apparently abandoned as if it had never occurred in the first place.

I'm sure others of you had questions that you were looking forward to having answered in this movie after the end of reloaded.

1) Was the architech lying?

2) Is the entire matrix really one giant loop with past 'Ones' running around and the rebuilding of Zion?

3) If the Oracle really is good and also the mother of the matrix, why in the world would this be the 4th or whatever it was loop?

Instead, I get this piece of shit, nonsensical crap where none of the above actually matters. The evil machine consciousness is one giant fucking gerber baby. Argh. They have EMP weapons but for some reason never use them in a way that would actually allow them to win the conflict. ARGH. The war is over when the machines still use humans as batteries?!? WTF?! Why the living hell wouldn't they just reneg on the deal? It's not as if the humans have anything else to offer them.

Fuck you, Wachowski brothers. Your movie sucked ass to a degree I cannot express. Even the damn final fight scene was shitty between Neo and Smith. Not that that made much sense in the first place. If Smith was just the natural counter to the One, why the fuck didn't he show up in all the other reruns of this and run amok then? It obviously wasn't because of which door Neo picked, after all, the duplicating Smith existed before that point. So what the hell happened to all the prior smiths that existed when all the prior Neos were around. Who the fucking hell wrote this piece of crap screenplay? Didn't anyone give it a read through and notice that there are plot holes so large that no amount of special effects and zen fortune cookie crap could support it? WTF?!
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  • The red line

    I sometimes wonder why I keep writing these anime reviews, especially since they're often a pain in the ass to remember and I'm habitually behind on…

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    I'm happy to report that my internet connection is finally on the up and up again. It took those incompetents at Verizon all day yesterday to sort…

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