In the darkness the trees are full of starlight (henwy) wrote,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight

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Satanic Cat Watch: Day 978

Stowaway cat arrives home from France

Thursday, December 1, 2005; Posted: 7:06 p.m. EST (00:06 GMT)

MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin (AP) -- Emily the cat is back -- after flying home in the lap of luxury.

The curious cat who wound up traveling to France in a cargo container touched down at the Milwaukee airport on Thursday, greeted by her family and a horde of reporters.

A Continental cargo agent handed her over to 9-year-old Nick Herndon, son of the cat's owners, Donny and Lesley McElhiney. Emily meowed and pawed at reporters' microphones as the family answered questions.

"She'll be held onto a lot all the way home. And then when we get home, too, she'll be cuddled a lot," Donny McElhiney said.

Her sumptuous return in business class on a Continental Airlines flight was a sharp departure from her trip to France, where she was found thin and thirsty but still alive.

"She seems a little calmer than she was before, just a little quieter, a little, maybe, wiser," said Lesley McElhiney, 32.

Emily vanished from her Appleton home in late September. She apparently wandered into a nearby paper company's distribution center and crawled into a container of paper bales.

The container went by truck to Chicago and by ship to Belgium before the cat was found October 24 at Raflatac, a laminating company in Nancy, France. Workers there used her tags to phone her veterinarian, who called the McElhineys.

Continental offered to fly the cat home from Paris after Emily's tale spread around the world and she cleared a one-month quarantine.

"This was such a marvelous story, that we wanted to add something to it," Continental spokesman Philippe Fleury told AP Television News at Charles de Gaulle airport.

After one Continental employee escorted Emily from Paris to Newark, New Jersey, cargo agent Gaylia McLeod accompanied the cat aboard a 50-seater from Newark to Milwaukee.

"I know it's close to the holidays," a tearful McLeod said. "I'm happy to be a part of reuniting Emily with her family."

On her flight home, Emily passed up a menu of peppered salmon filet and "opted for her French cat food" and some water, airline spokeswoman Courtney Wilcox said.

Apparently all that French food did Emily some good.

"She's bigger and heavier than before," Nick said.

My God, it's finally reached our shores. I can't believe those morons let it off the plane. What happened to those anti-aircraft guns and air to air missiles? Those fools may have just doomed us all. A satanic cat joined with the evil diabolic powers of the French....has the world ever known such a chilling combination of horror?

And of course it's heavier, you idiots. It's chock full of evil. As everyone knows evil is a force in the universe. Force is energy. Energy can be convereted interchangeably with mass so that a small amount of mass equals large amounts of energy. That's the very principle behind nukes after all. So how could the forces of Satan guarentee that their little dirty bomb came back with enough evil to destroy us all? Stuff the cat with it, of course, in the form of french food. You can see from the news story how even on the plane it was continuing to gorge itself on evil, preparing to lead the abyssal legions of Satan once it arrived.

Oh, I'm sure it'll lay low for the time being, but slowly it will release its store of concentrated evil. Those fools there will never realize the peril they've put the entire country in, no doubt telling themselves that it just looks like the cat is losing weight. The only possible response is to kill it now and then catapult the corpse back to the dark infernal pits of france from whence it came. There isn't a moment to lose god damnit. Even now the infection is spreading in Wisconsin and God only knows how long it'll take before it starts encroaching on places that matter.
Tags: satanic cat watch

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