Thursday, December 29, 2005; Posted: 9:19 a.m. EST (14:19 GMT)
MISSOULA, Montana (AP) -- If cats have nine lives, a kitty in Montana has definitely used one up.
A house cat survived being locked in a cage, thrown off a bridge and then stranded in an icy puddle of river slush.
The ordeal ended Tuesday morning when a pair of passers-by spotted the calico cat while crossing a footbridge and called for help.
Missoula firefighters arrived minutes later, donned wet suits and launched a rescue boat.
Someone had put the animal in a cage, along with a rock weighing about 16 pounds, and tossed it into the Clark Fork River. But instead of landing in the water, it bounced several times on the ice and then became stuck.
It's unclear how long the cat had been there.
Firefighters took it back to the fire station, dried it off and fed it leftover Christmas turkey and a dish of milk.
"It was really skinny, nothing but skin and bones, and had collar marks where a too-small collar had rubbed the fur off its neck. But it was really friendly," firefighter Philip Keating said.
Firefighter Josh Macrow decided to keep the cat. After his shift, he took it to a veterinarian and then home to his 12-year-old daughter.
"It's the sweetest cat," Macrow said. "It sits on your shoulder when you drive down the road, and it curled up with my black Labs this morning."
Naming the animal was easy, he said.
"We call her Lucky."
Ya, lucky that satan answered its demonic prayers and saved His foul servant. The power of the devil must be strong in this particular cat. Tossed into a river with a 16-pound rock and yet it manages to survive. I wouldn't be surprised if it were some arch-priest among the satanic forces arrayed against the world. I mean, think about it. The people rescuing it needed a boat yet this cat and its cage and its huge-ass rock somehow managed to float atop the river's slush? Oh, the sheer amount of psychic energy expended to keep it afloat must have been beyond measuring. No wonder it was thin and tired at the end. It must have prayed continually for dark and infernal powers to sustain it against the force of gravity.
As additional proof, they provided a picture of the cat, and I've seldom seem a more evil-looking creature.
See? SEE? You can practically see the hellfires dancing in its eyes I tell you. One of these days, poor Josh Macrow is going to be driving along somewhere with what he thinks is just a harmless pet on his shoulder right up to the minute it gnaws his head off. All the police will find is a headless corpse because the cat will have dragged off the head to offer up as a sacrifice to her dark lord and then gone in search of more victims.