The problem with this whole idea, however, is that I don't live in a blasted powerball state. This of course makes the whole thing more of a pain in the ass since I have only a couple choices. I could buy tickets online through a broker, paying some sort of fee to tell to buy the tickets for me. Second, I could drive to a nearby powerball state and buy tickets from the nearest convienance store across the border I can find. Or third, I can harass someone who lives in a powerball state to buy some tickets for me. Since choice number three requires the least amount of effort from me, I think that's the one I'll go with.
Looking at the powerball map of destruction, I'm left with few people who I can get to perform this chore. This LJ is infested with canadians, all of which don't qualify for obvious reasons, a norwegian, who would only come in handy if I needed to buy into some sort of swedish herring lottery I'd imagine, and a handful of people in the states. Of course, it just seems to work out that almost none of them live in the coveted 'red zone', save one. So by process of elimination, juju in Maine vala_amaris wins.
So what happens if she refuses? Well, I imagine that's where the badgering and whining comes into play. What happens if the ticket wins and she runs off with the money? Well, I figure if one day in the near future I see her picture on CNN.com accepting a gigantic oversized powerball check, it'd be time to take a road trip with my flail.
Barring that, you must be asking yourself right now, why would an obviously intelligent person with a piercing intellect be interested in buying lottery tickets, the crack of the stupid? Ah ha, not so, I would respond. In this case, only the stupid would not go out right now and buy themselves a powerball ticket. It all has to do with expected value, my friend. The value of 1 dollar versus the expected value of that dollar winning the jackpot. The basic mathematical premise is summarized here in Slate.
At that point in time, a 1 dollar powerball ticket bought you an expected value of $.77 based on a 280 million dollar jackpot after taxes. Since the jackpot is now 365 million, that bumps our expected value number just past the magical benchmark of one dollar to $1.00 and .375 of a cent. Add in the value of the secondary prizes after taxes and you get a total expected value of your investment of one dollar of $1.13 (and .575 of a cent). Thus, everyone should buy 1 powerball ticket because the expected value of that ticket is greater than the one dollar investment you will place into purchasing it.
Tedious justifications aside, BUY ME POWERBALL TICKETS, JUJU!!!