In the darkness the trees are full of starlight (henwy) wrote,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight

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Oh noes! Those fools will kill us all!

World Jump Day seeks to change the earth's orbit by having everyone in the western hemisphere jump at a specific time, around 16 weeks from now, based on their timezone. It's madness I tell you, MADNESS! Sure, sure, they claim that this new orbit of ours will 'stop global warming, extend daylight hours, and create a more homogenous climate' but God only knows what sort of horrors it could inflict. These treehugging hippie bastards could send all of us spiraling into the sun or out into deep space!

Luckily, they seem to be short their target number of 600,000,000 bulletheaded jumpers for the time being (though they have found 464,308,014 morons willing to participate as of March 13, 2006). We can't count on the good sense of people not to jump on this potentially suicidal bandwagon however. The only thing to do is start organizing a counter-jump event. What we need to do is find enough people in the EASTERN hemisphere willing to jump at exactly the same time, or at least enough of them to cancel out the morons jumping in the western hemisphere so that they fail to reach the magic number of 600,000,000.

This is a matter of life and death. We can't let these hippie wankers muck with our orbit, god damnit.

In case anyone out there might actually believe this could work (I'm looking at you jeanie3 for some reason), you can read here about the actual effect a buncha people jumping at once would actually have.
Tags: hippies, humor

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