In the darkness the trees are full of starlight (henwy) wrote,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight

  • Mood:

De profundis clamo ad te Domine

There's not much question that the situation has been getting worse on the whole pain front as of late. What's worse though is that I just don't seem to have any real emotional reserves left. My pain tolerance level has gone down the toilet of late and there are plenty of times where I feel like I'm hanging by a string. It's not quite to the point where I'm seriously considering putting a gun in my mouth, but it's a scene that you can see off on the horizon somewhere. Things are bad enough that I'm thinking that I might really have to find a doctor that specializes in pain management and just dope myself more or less consistantly, at least until I recover some emotional reserves. I think I've just spent too much time teetering on the edge and it adds up. Popping more pills also seems to be causing tolerance as I feared. I'm leery about upping the dosage which might simply exacerbate the problem but I just can't handle the constant grind anymore.
Tags: chronic pain

  • Cheer up, the worst is yet to come

    Being alone with fear can rapidly turn into panic. Being alone with frustration can rapidly turn into anger. Being alone with disappointment can…

  • Hello darkness, my old friend

    Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery's shadow or reflection: the fact that you don't merely suffer but have to keep on thinking…

  • Woohoo! Happy day!

    I hereby declare this to be a day of celebration which will henceforth be known as Chelle is a wonderful person especially compared to the rest of…

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded