In the darkness the trees are full of starlight (henwy) wrote,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight

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The Doctor is in

Went to the doctor today and touched base with her about how things are going. I was pretty blunt in telling her that I'm just about near the edge as far as things go and that things can't keep on going the way it has. As the situation generally worsens, I just get more emotionally unstable. It's hard to even think about how much better things were half a year ago when I saw her last.

I have no clue what's caused this downturn exactly, but it's stark in comparrison. Just a couple years ago I was just still functional. I had bad periods and there was a price to be payed in pain and discomfort, but I could still lead a semi normal life. At this point, it's gotten bad enough that I feel like I can't even leave the house for any significant period of time or if I do, I pay a huge price for it. That's not to say that staying home makes everything hunky dorey, but there are some stopgap measures I can sometimes apply. If nothing else, you're less likely to disturb strangers with the shrieking.

Now that the round of Isoniazid is over, it's time to finally try to see if there's anything to be done to treat or alleviate some of the symptoms. She spoke to the company rep just recently and it looks like that part of the whole equation is trucking along. I should have access to the Enbrel in 1-2 weeks. It's more than a little unnerving to know that this is the only option left and it's so iffy that it's completely experimental and off-label. It also dosen't help that the route of administration is bi-weekly SubQ injections into the gut. I have this thing about needles and I'm not sure that I can inject myself.

More pressing is the fact that I need a stopgap measure for Origins and Gencon coming up. At this point with my level of functionality, I can't handle either trip. It's going to be a bloody screaming nightmare. I need something, anything that will buy me 4-5 days of relief. I asked for an received a perscription of steroids that I'm hoping will being efficacious in the short terms since I've never actually taken them before. No tolerance or compensating effects is my hope. My doctor is also supposed to call tonight with the contact info of a pain management team and hopefully they'll have some ideas. No matter what....I need to be able to function for those 4-5 days.
Tags: chronic pain, origins

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