Oh well. In the end, I'm sure I'll just stick with the old tried and true as much as the recapping afterwards galls me. Besides, setting all the events down on the LJ seem to cement them in my mind. I'm sure the only reason I can recall any of the details of a con after the fact is due to the need to organize them all while jotting the recap.
Saturday, saturday. What in the world happened on saturday? Well, the pictoral evidence actually begins a bit before I woke up. At some point that morning before Matt and I woke up, Joyce was apparently running around taking pictures.
For some reason, she seemed to find it interesting that I was sleeping, curled up in one direction and matt was in the other. I'm not exactly sure why she found this so amusing, but considering what sort of pictures might get taken of a person while unconscious, I feel pretty lucky it's as innoculous as it is. In case anyone is curious, that's actually a box of the Wizkids Pirates game above my head. We had been putting together ships the night before, figuring we'd give the game a whirl at some point.
The day started pretty early with another Round III of Rescue of a Lifetime. I had already decided that if Kath had managed to buy back into the game, I would bail on it and spend the morning with Joyce instead. Matt had decided to sleep in and I still hadn't had a chance to really see the exhibit hall other than that once around with Jeff.
When we got down to the room, Kath and the Bills were already there. It turned out that she had managed to buy back in. I waited around just to make sure that there would be enough people to play the game and my presence wasn't somehow pivotal. Mandy ended up bringing bagels again so I managed to snag another asiago cheese bagel with honey walnut cream cheese. Mmmmmm.
The Bills had also brought down the puppets from the night before and we passed them on to Mandy so she could use them to play her character during the game. She seems to be suitably terrified of our little kobold minions. The Bills actually brought the puppets back to joisey with us and they're now sitting in their house somewhere. We dug them out for Randy on sunday and he seemed to find them pretty amusing.
I ended up snapping a few more pictures and then Joyce and I headed off. What hadn't occurred to me at the time is that the exhibit hall wouldn't open up for another hour yet. That being the case, and not to waste time, I dragged Joyce over to the board game room so I could snap a picture or two of the giant inflatable pichachu they had set up for the pokemon nationals.
That area of the hall was crowded from morning to evening each day. It was sorta amazing how many people were taking part, and a good chunk of them small children. There's a tier for kids under 10 and in general the prize was the same no matter what age group/category you won from, a free trip to the world tourney. This year, it just happened to be taking place in Hawaii and I'm sure a free Hawaii vacation appealed to a lot of people. A woman who runs a gamestore even told me that there were adults looking to recruit young kids to enter into the tourney just for a split of the prize. It's the sort of thing that I can see people entering ringers for. A couple of guatamalan midgets trained night and day to play pokemon and you could be heading for Hawaii.
After taking the picture, I bought myself a bag of cotton candy (the breakfast of champions) and we sat down outside the exhibit hall to wait for things to open up. Jeff passed by at one point and a bit after we went in, Matt wandered down and joined us.
We wandered around and Matt and Joyce demo'ed a couple games at Z-man while I chatted with Paul at the booth. The only demo I participated in (that I wasn't running) was some Hollywood Blockbuster ripoff set in Rome. I just had no interest in trying out new games. God knows I've got shitloads of games in my closet that are all either shrinkwrapped or never played. There's no reason to go trying out anything new when I have a backlog like that sitting around.
This doll disturbed the crap out of me when I first saw it. I thought it was literally a plushie fuck doll. For you lucky few out there who don't know what a plushie is, it's basically a freak who likes to fuck stuffed animals. Why should I suffer that knowledge alone? Share the wealth. That's my motto. Anyway, I thought that this thing actually had a fuckhole for its mouth. I'm happy to say though that there was, upon closer inspection, no hole. Not that there aren't plushies out there who have made their own I'm certain.
I also thought about getting teh AIDS at the booth. It might be sorta spiffy to give teh AIDS to people. It's too bad they didn't have one for the herp.
While wandering around we ran into my friend Piplup again. I demanded that Matt and Joyce stand next to it so I could snap a picture. You can see how overjoyed Matt was about it. Looking at Joyce's pictures after the fact, I was hardly the only person who seems to have had a slight pokemon fixation when it came to pictures. It looks like at least a few other people also got their picture taken with the giant plush pokemon whenever they stumbled across them.
Welp, that was about it for the time I had in the exhibit hall. I must've been in there for at least 3-4 hours, but I don't really recall doing anything interesting. I stopped by the Tokkens booth and got into a conversation in Chinese with some of the people there. Everyone in the booth was from China, at least originally, and I got to break out my broken chinese for shits and giggles. I met a couple of the guys last year when I first discovered Tokkens at origins and in addition to Simon and Morris, there were a couple of girls there too. I never did get around to getting their names due to the whole rushiness of the situation. Joyce obviously had no interest in the product and I didn't want to bog her down there for too long.
After the exhibit hall, it was back to the boardgame room for my shift at running more Playroom demos. As normal, I have absolutely no recollection of what I might have run that day or even if any people showed up. Everything starts to blur together almost immediately, fueled by the fact that I don't really give a frak. Running demos is a sort of tedious thing, but it's familiar enough by now that I don't pay it much attention. I try to be cheerup and upbeat during the event, knowing that people are more likely to enjoy the game if I'm not assaulting them with my real personality.
In the realm of 'You Learn Something Every Day', I was introduced to the fact that there are actually pitless nectarines and peaches avaliable. Holy crap. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, what with mad scientists out there injecting people with monkey genes and vice versa, but I was actually quite impressed with the whole thing. This is Tina by the way. She was the 4th demo person in our happy little understaffed group.
Jeff was there as usual, this time playing a KB game with the brothers as well as some other people I had met at a past origins, a gay couple with one guy named Bud. I shit you not. I've never actually met a 'Bud' before him, though that's probably because I don't live in the mountains of kentucky somewhere and fuck my sister. What kinda parents would name their son Bud anyway? Then again, I did know a Gaylord when I was a kid and I'm still baffled by that one. I don't care what your sexual orientation is. The first thing that kid should do when he turned 18 is get a fucking namechange. If he does turn out to be teh ghey, he can still use Gaylord as a title of some sort, just not as a first name.
I popped back into the exhibit hall at one point before heading off to our afternoon game. I, of course, stopped by the pokemon booth for more picture oppertunities and managed to stumble across the giant pikachu. I snagged an inflatable pokeball from the booth and scampered off to get my picture taken. It must be pretty sucky being stuck in one of those costumes but it must almost be worse having to be one of the wranglers who follow them around. Being the slave of a giant electric rat is probably something that they'll be leaving off their next job application under previous employment.
I then ran back to the booth and got my picture snapped with the charizard. I asked Bill M if he wanted a picture with it and he declined with something like 'He's a jerk'. Charizard is not a jerk. He just dosen't feel the need to bow and scrape like other pokemon serving his slave masters. In that way, he's sorta like bulbasaur (my favorite pokemon). A pokemon with an attitude.
So after the pictures it was time to trek off to the game. It had been something I was really looking forward to. I had heard of Evil Stevie's Pirate Game for years, and it had very good word of mouth. I'd never heard a poor or medicore word about it and almost all of the feedback were raves. The basic idea, as far as I knew at the time, was a large scale pirate game using lego ships. That sounded pretty entertaining just based on the premise. I had mentioned what I heard to everyone in the group and it was decided that we would snag tickets for the thing. The only reason we got them was because the event had actually been left off of the pre-registration lists. I had searched for it and when I didn't find it, assumed that it wasn't being run. There had been some rumors that Stevie was burned out on the whole thing. So when I flipped opened the event book and saw a listing, it seemed like a no brainer.
Bill M was the only one who really didn't want to play for some unknown reason. Maybe he dosen't like pirates or has an aversion to legos or possibly, his crappy game sense was tingling. I'm not sure exactly what he did while the rest of us were pushing lego ships around but since I have this picture, I'm going to assume he was off molesting Pikachu. Actually, come to think of it, I don't think Matt played either. As I recall, he went back up to the room because he was feeling cruddy, though I can't say for sure. No doubt my neurons have spent a fair amount of effort trying to scrub the memory of this game from my long term memory.
Things started off pretty spiffy though. I got a shot of the lego ships as we entered the room and they all looked pretty nice. It was a full house with people hoping to get into the game with generics to boot. When everything was set and ready, we all picked a cup full of lego pirates, at the bottom of which was a colored flag for the top of our ship. That would determine which team we would be on and there were 5 of them spread out across the floor. We then got to pick a ship and were set off to our team fort to assemble the crew.
I ended up on a team with Bill S, a little girl and her mom, and a little boy. Not the most auspicious start I guess if you're looking to win, but at that point I didn't really care what the combat outcome would be. With the number of kids in the room, I didn't figure the game would be very cutthroat or outcome oriented.
I put together my ship and stacked my crew all over it. It was sort of a carryover from the Kobolds game the night before, but it just seemed natural to start using my cheesy french accent again. Before long, we were team frenchie as I taunted the other teams nearby about their imminent destruction. Bill seemed taken with the idea and we began to expand upon it. We decided that in order to be truly french, we should name our captains and ships after cheeses and rum island (the cneterpiece of the setup) would be our goal since there must be wine there for our cheese.
- Bill: Captain Roquefort of the Camembert Henry: Captain Cheddar of the Munster</li>
And of course we're right next to Fort Fromage. The mother-daughter members of our team bought into the idea but I don't recall what they named their ships. Stevie was going around asking people what their ship names were and we got some bonus crew for both the cheese french accent as well as the ship/fort names. Of course, the last kid on our team spoiled things a bit. I'm not sure if he was just retardedly stupid or what. We explained the idea to him, and he seemed to be on board, but when it came time to announce the name of the ship, it was completely off-topic like the SS Transformer or something such idiocy. That might have been the first clue that things were going to go all the fuck at some point. It didn't help that the girl was throwing a lot of pouty hissyfits about things and the mom kept having to slap her down.
Oh, and of course the extra crew didn't end up meaning a damn thing. That ended up being one of the running themes of the game. Rules were never explained up front and there were a lot of crap that didn't seem to apply or make sense. I got the impression that Stevie bit off more than he could chew, and had tried to alter the rules to somehow simplify things. What we ended up getting was a tedious mess where nothing much made sense.
I should mention at this point that sherilyn70 was also at the event. In fact, she was one of the first people I ever heard mention the pirate game and had spoken quite positively about it. In short, I blame her. On a sidenote, she told me that she had received a 4 or 5 pirate crew bonus for boobies. It had been my intention to sail my ship over, since she was with one of the teams next to us, and shiver her timbers with my main gun, but I never got the chance to fire a shot the entire game.
To cut things short, the game was a general disaster. The kids on our team were basically fuckups, though I left most of that to Bill. I never did get straight exactly what the hell was going on but they were doing stupid things of some sort. There were also some rules clashes involving the upgrading of ships and other gobbily gook. Luckily, I got to avoid most of it since I was the only one sailing in a completely different direction/defending the fort.
What really killed the game was the fact that some people are slackjawed retards who can't follow simple instructions. How fucking long does it take to measure out 12 inches or so and then roll 2 dice? Apparently, a fucking lot of time. I think we ended up taking something like only 6-7 moves in 3 fucking hours. I have no clue what was wrong with some of those asshats on green team, who apparently could not complete a single turn with less than 40 minutes of contemplation. Fucking morons.
Other lowlights include Joyce being assigned to guard her fort, which basically amounted to her doing nothing the entire game. She also had another moron kid on her team who was apparently hoarding gold or some such. I think he got assraped though, so that at least balanced out. Kath had issues with the people with her as well, though I'm almost certain she was at least as annoying to her team as vice versa. After a while, I just couldn't bear it anymore. It had been such a great start, and in the end had just gone to shit. 'We are French and we surrender!' I had all of my crew commmit suicide and jump into the ocean to be eaten by sharks, leaving the ship for salvage.
On the plus side, I did get a ship upgrade before I quit. I picked this one because it looked like a speeder bike a la star wars, and was cool. What it was, was badly balanced. Damn thing kept toppling over and little lego guys would fall off.
So that was basically it for the pirate game. We went back to the exhibit hall and sat in on that one demo I participated in. The game sucked IMO, but everyone else seemed to be a bit more charitable. When the hall finally closed, we wandred out and started up a game of 4-way pokeball volleyball. It was quite entertaining actually, though eventually some con-nazi came over and told us to cut it out. What a kill joy. We sat around and waited for June to show up, and suffered a ninja attack in the meantime. Never did figure out exactly what that guy was doing. All I caught was he was collecting spontaneous quotes while dressed like a ninja. Go figure.
When June finally arrived we trekked out for dinner....
(You know, this is taking longer than I thought it would. I have to head out soon for Dexcon and there are some errands I want to run beforehand. I should really get ready and pack things up. There are no more pictures remaining for the saturday recap. I'll pop back at some point and edit in the rest)
Alrighty. I'm going to finish this tonight so it's no longer hanging over my head.
At first we were going to go to some grill place right across the street. I don't recall what it was called but I wasn't overly enthused about it. When we finally trekked over we found that apparently half of columbus shared our dinner plans since the wait time was over a hour. I suggested going to the Buffalo/Biscon place that I had gone to the year before with Chelle and friends but June vetoed it due to the walk involved. It was decided, though my veto was glossed over, that we would go have japanese.
Now, I'm not really an intrepid explorer when it comes to food. I likes what I likes and I don't usually like running the risk of putting strange foreign muck in my mouth, ecspecially when I have to pay for the pleasure. My general style of item selection at a new ethnic resturant is to ask the waiter what they have on the menu that won't make me want to vomit. That has likely resulted in a lot of my food being spit in over the years.
We ended up getting a private little dining room all to ourselves. The table was actually set low and there was a 2 foot hole cut around it so you were sitting on the floor at it. That was sorta cool though it required some levering to get some of us into place. The menu didn't exactly leave me with a confident feeling but after some acid comments, I decided to order some dumpling whozits and a bento, though I don't remember what kind it was.
Overall, I'm happy to be able to report that I enjoyed dinner there greatly. The food was good despite my fears as was the quantity and the affordability. I ecspecially liked the fact that the bento box had two little slices of some pickled vegetable in its only little compartment. It reminded me about how bentos in animes always had those.
During the meal we spent a lot of time talking about double exposure whozits, mostly dishing dirt back and fort for the most part. You find out some of the weirdest things during these sort of gossip sessions. About the only downside of the event was Kath did an overshare about personal shaving and I think I threw up in my mouth a little.
After dinner, we decided to head up to the CAB open gaming room. Bill S, June, and Joyce got into a game of that Hollywood Blockbuster ripoff we had demoed earlier in the day while Bill M, Matt, me, and a friend of theirs put the new Alhambra dice game through its paces. Long story short, the game sucked. It was like Alhambra branded Yahtzee and the suXXors. The clear highlight was when Bill M explained to the rest of us what The Spiderman was. I have no clue if maybe it was the lack of sleep or the way in which he explained it but we started laughing uncontrollably. Ever since, The Spiderman has popped up as a reference in various conversations.
Curious about what The Spiderman is? Here's a direct quote from Urban Dictionary:
When a girl is going down on you, and just before you climax you pull out of her mouth and nut in your own hand. Then fling the jism in her face, as you jump to your feet, making sure to properly mimic Spidey's web slinging hand motions. Now stand in a position of bravery, and power like any superhero would. Be sure not to react when she yells at you. Stand tall and proud, not too many guys get the chance to do that these days.
Yeah so i nutted in my hand... And i was all like "PLAH SPIDERMAN!!!" And then she was all like "WHAT THE...?" And i was all like... "shhhh baby, the games back on."
Bill M, Matt, and I finished up early and we headed back to the room to put together our Pirates of the Spanish Main ships. The idea had been to have a battle with them but it took us quite a bit to figure out how those little things were supposed to be connected. I think Matt even ended up snapping a few of us. Anyway, it grew too late to fiddle with it any longer and we put it away for another day. After that, it was bed time with pleasant thoughts of The Spiderman running through our heads.