BEST. SIMPSONS MOVIE. EVER. (OUT OF ONE MADE)
SCENE I - BURNS’ OFFICE
Smithers, release the review.
You remember Simpson, that oxygen-waster in sector 7G?
Never heard of him.
He seems to have a movie out.
Another D.W. Griffith spectacular, eh? Starring Lillian Gish and Harold Lloyd, I hope?
No, sir. But it does have Albert Brooks and a surprise guest - one of the biggest movie stars of the last 20 years.
Piffle and nincompoopery! Can’t President Hoover do something about Hollywood standards?
SCENE II - EVENING NEWS
Springfield’s top story tonight: Local boob Homer Simpson has caused an environmental crisis by dumping a silo full of his pet pig’s waste into Lake Springfield! A sinister EPA agent who sounds a lot like Albert Brooks has ordered an airtight dome placed over the entire city. Looks like goodbye Mother Nature, hello Smother Nature!
Film crews are already making a movie on the subject. As doomsday approaches, local residents are delivering impassioned viewpoints.
SCENE III - MAN ON STREET INTERVIEW
SCENE IV - SIMPSONS HOUSE
Whoo-hoo! I’m gonna be in a movie!
That’s nice, Homey. But at the moment there’s an angry mob outside with torches.
Is my new environmentally aware Irish boyfriend out there?
Lisa’s got a boyfriend! Lisa’s got a boyfriend!
You’re the one who shows his wiener in this movie.
Something about this movie strikes me as awfully familiar.
COMIC BOOK GUY
I of course have already seen “The Simpsons Movie” and decreed on my blog that the star power of musical guest Green Day does not measure up to The Who or U2. The good news is, “The Simpsons Movie” is just like the TV show, whereas the bad news is, it’s just like the TV show. Instead of trying something radically different, it follows a conventional plotline of Homer screwing up and trying to fix the situation. Though it does have a handful of dirty jokes meant to earn the audience-pleasing PG-13 rating and features Marge swearing, it falls short of classic status.
Empirical testing shows it to be less frantically paced than the TV show and two-thirds as funny as the “Marge vs. the Monorail” or “Rosebud” episodes.
I found the Itchy and Scratchy section as pleasing as one of my strawburritos.
I haven’t seen a movie this funny in 73 years! Which was the last time I went to the movies.
SCENE V - MRS. KRABAPPLE’S CLASSROOM
Class, can anyone explain the concept of “meta”?
Endlessly self-referential in a humorous but potentially aggravating manner?
In “The Simpsons Movie,” when Homer says “I can’t believe we’re paying to see something we can get on TV for free.”
Mrs. Krabapple? Can I get extra credit by giving Martin a humorous series of wedgies?
SCENE VI - POLICE STATION
Chief? We have a report that the Simpson family responsible for destroying the environment escaped and became fugitives in Alaska. We’ve also heard that Marge and Homer have been engaging in, uh, lovemaking with help from some whimsical forest animals.
(Putting down his sandwich) Well, there goes my appetite.
Also, another disaster is headed for Springfield, and it looks like Homer is the only one who can save us.
Sweet peppery Jesus! I can’t believe it!
You knew? (Putting down Entertainment Weekly) Then why didn’t you tell me “Sheriff Lobo” was available on DVD?
THE SIMPSONS MOVIE Whoo-hoo! Running time: 88 minutes. Rated PG-13 (sex humor, profanity, drug references). Starts tomorrow at the Lincoln Square, the Kips Bay, the Union Square, others.
From what I've seen, critics would laud the new simpsons movie even if the movie consisted of Matt Groening handing them a plate with a steaming loaf of his feces on it. 'Mmmm, tastes delightfully nutty!' raves one reviewer. The Simpsons has become one of those iconic elements you can't really bash. About the worst thing it's possible to say is that it used to be funnier once upon a time. We all remember the good times so we're often willing to forget the bad. I haven't watched a simpsons episode in around 4-5 years now and I seriously doubt that I've been missing anything. The whole thing seemed to be going downhill even back then and it's hard to believe it didn't have lower to go.
Lackluster movie aside, I found this review from the NY post to be pretty entertaining. It's just sad that there's a better than even chance it's better than the film it's about.