In the darkness the trees are full of starlight (henwy) wrote,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight

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Dexcon X: Part 3 of It's Fucking Done, Yippee!

Man, I can't wait to get this over with. It seems like the longer it is after the event, less inclined I am to work on recaps. You just start to lose the sense of urgency and the sure suspicion that no one out there gives a damn if it's ever finished.

So lets see....what other interesting highlights were there? Oh, well, one thing I guess I should mention is that Randy went out to a dollar store and bought all sorts of stickers and other goobily gook with which people could decorate their badges. I mentioned it a few weeks ago in another entry during which Matt and I tried our abortive pokemon trading with the DS's. To no one's surprise, arts and craft time was a big hit with most people. I even put a couple of stickers on my badge, a car crushing a cat head, and I think Joyce added other embellishments to it too. Lori practically had a stripper badge, it was so shiny after she finished with it.

Here's a closeup of Matt Lee's badge and the cat sticker was really wigging me out. I was at just the right height that whenever I looked at him, this is what I saw. Not a cat, which is bad enough, but some 4-eyed freakazoid. Oh, Randy also had June make up some buttons for him. I think they said either Official Minion of the Queen for the members of the boardgame staff or God Save (us from) the Queen. BTW, I think those chinese characters on Matt's badge mean 'Please Insert General Tso's Chicken'.

One of the unique elements of dexcon is the fact that they offer trophies for their board game championships. I've got 5 or so of them sitting on top of my book shelf right now from previous years and I had planned on bringing home no others. They're worthless dust collectors and that damn bookshelf is high and sometimes wobbily. I wouldn't be surprised if one of them falls off of there and ends up cracking a hole in my skull one day.

Anyway, I had qualified for 4 games from Southern Exposure for teh finals and while at Dexcon, I qualified for another 2-3 I think. Whenever possible, I ended up offering the trophy to someone else and took second or got the points while the other person picked up the hunk of junk. This had been working out perfectly until Saturday night. There's this one kid that always shows up each year and plays Hack! Tomb of Vectra. It's a card game based off of the Knights of the Dinner Table and is very much a beer and pretzel game. By that, I mean the game is only worthwhile if you're drunk off your ass. It's basically random. If you follow the comics, it's at least sorta entertaining for the card content.

Anyway, last year, he and I were the only ones to show up for the finals. I'd sooner shoot myself in the face with a sawed-off than play 2-player Hack! since it might go on for ages and at the end involves a coin flip. I made a deal with him wherein he could simply have the trophy. This year, he appeared once more and actually brought up a couple times before the tourney how he was going to try to get in and wanted another trophy, blah, blah. Well, when midnight rolled around, he and I were the only ones around. I ran around starting other games, figuring we'd just work out the same sort of deal by which he could have the trophy and I would pick up some prize points. Of course, just as I finished starting everything else, some guy wandered in 15-minutes late for Hack! and it seemed sorta assholish to tell him 'too bad, go home' when we hadn't actually started it. So I basically ended up playing a game of Hack that went on for well over a hour.

The basic summary of the game is that I was more or less the table's gimp. Everyone else was picking up items or other strategic steps forward toward victory, while I spent a good chunk of time stuck in the teleportation room. The room allows for a person to teleport to any other room in the dungeon if they roll a 5-6 on a d6. If you roll a '1', you die. I ended up rolling around 8 times and dying once in the process before I actually got it to go right. I 'ported over to the chamber of vectra, rolled a d6, got a 4, and won the game. Like I said, you're better off saving the time and flipping a coin. So I ended up walking off with a trophy I didn't even want, the only one I pickedup during the con.

Bill S, on the right there, ended up getting his third Puerto Rico championship trophy. He already has plans to bring them with him next year so he can display them on the table in front of him during the qualifiers and championship game. He seems really eager to live up to that reputation of being an 'arrogant jerk'. If I ever play a game of Puerto Rico again in my entire life, it'll be too soon. As I've said before, I don't really mind the game but Puerto Rico players are schmucks. It's just not worth the aggravation.

Speaking of aggravation, we did run into one asshole during the Alhambra championship who wouldn't stop his whining and actually got Vinny down there to adjudicate his bitchfest. I could go into details but it just isn't worthwhile. Suffice to say, some people are just whiney little bitches and care way too much about getting their own way. I guess it was just fitting that he was wearing a skirt at the time. I'm sure he would have claimed it was a kilt, but we all know a bitch skirt when we see one.

I think that's actually a pretty common pet peeve of mine. People who take games too seriously really rub me the wrong way. It's different if there's some sort of kickass prize involved or money or something. But we're talking about a plastic, piece of crap, trophy here. It's worthless shit. If you can't find something better to throw a fit over, you're pretty fucked up.

Something else Dexcon is known for that I pretty much missed out on is Sugarfest. You can check out last year's dexcon pictures if you want to see what that's like. It's basically huge piles of candy of all descriptions, enough to give anyone diabetes on sight. I think someone said this year that they had 75 pounds of pixie sticks avaliable. The Bills, Matt, Joyce, and I went out to dinner to a chinese buffet on Rt 18 saturday night during the dinner break though and the hoards of gamer locoustes had already descended and stripped the place almost clean by the time we got back.

Insert sad Ruth picture.

There were, however, still mounds of pixie sticks left over. I fucking hate pixie sticks. It's like eating sour sugar, which is pretty ridiculous if you think about it.

Joyce found a stash of them and started to build a pixie stick tower around her 'Clutch' (which is apparently the name women use for a useless purse that dosen't hold much and dosen't have straps so you're likely to just leave it all over the place and then ask people if they've seen it). You can see Madelaine looking on with interest at the construction.

Here's Joyce with her completed tower of sugar. She then proceeded to try to pull out individual pixie sticks a la Jenga and keep the entire thing from collapsing. I have no clue why we were all sitting around watching this. It must've been in between game blocks or something.

I guess the most important thing to come out of this Dexcon is that Randy tendered his resignation from being the 'On-site coordinator' (aka: fuckpuppet) for boardgames. Randy is what we've come to refer to as a Power Bottom.

He also, See's No Evil, or if he does, he tends to make excuses for it. The entire thing seemed to be a pretty thankless job overall and he was always stressing over various parts of it. I have no clue who's going to going to get the nod to deal with it now, but almost everyone I talked to wouldn't take it if it came with a dozen cupcakes with sprinkles on it.

At least they won't have this little brown boy to push around anymore. Well, unless he changes his mind and knuckles under. You can never be sure with Randy. We think that his backbone transplant might actually take this time, but there's always a chance of rejection.

So I think that's all of the pictures I have for the con. The only thing I want to add to this is that Sunday afternoon we got the chance to play a new game. It had something to do with sheep as a theme, but the basic idea is that you create a topic and then you either want to match a word to it (synonym) ot find a word that dosen't match (antonym). This game taught me that both Bernie and Lori are frakking nutjobs. At one point, I had to choose a topic where my word would not match. Since I had the word 'priceless' in my hand, I decided the topic was "A $2.99 rubber ducky". Would you believe Lori picked it as being a match? On another round she picked the word 'flat' as being a match for 'The Rocky Mountains'. Bernie's frakups were just as ridiculous and one involved Jennifer Aniston being innovative or something.

On a sidenote, before the ducky, my first two category choices in previous rounds were ass cancer and something about rotting testicles. I'm sure neither comes up very often as category selection. Needless to say, I lost the game.

Shit. I just found that I have on more picture.

This is Pat and Karen sunfirejade. They just got married not too long ago and I spent a chunk of time chatting with Karen about it. Karen had her wedding pictures along so we were flipping through it. Pat has the most hillbilly, mountain man uncle I've ever seen outside of the movies. I swear to God there could be an entire family of pygmies living happily in the guy's beard alone. We were also exchanging the general gossip and rumor mongering that goes along with any con.

I had been sorta hoping that Pat would enter the Hex-Hex tourney for a rematch after my disastrous introduction to the game at his hands a couple of Dexcon's ago. No doubt he realized that the student had finally surpassed the master and chose to avoid my challenge to keep some semblance of his pride intact.

They ended up having to pop out early due to a family emergency and never got to see Joyce's wedding pictures which she brought along the next day. Women and their wedding pictures. Go figure.
Tags: double exposure

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