In the darkness the trees are full of starlight (henwy) wrote,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight

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Webb Pizza Delivery

If you're checking the 'posted at' time, you're likely wondering why the frak I'm sitting here making LJ entries. Ecspecially when I leave town in a day and a half and haven't so much as put a single thing into my suitcase yet. Well, the short answer is that I'm having some pain issues at the moment and I couldn't sleep even if I wanted to. Add to that some generic sleep disturbance and I'll be up until the pain meds kick in. They seem to be taking their merry old time at the moment and I'm starting to wonder if I should pop more. No analgesia vs nausea. It's a crappy choice all around.

Anyway, since I'm up anyway, I figured that I would tell you about the movie I saw last night. It's actually quite a streak for me. I usually see 2 movies a year or thereabouts and this has been the second in two weeks. I almost didn't catch it though due to a theater mixup. When Joyce and Matt asked me if I wanted to tag along last week and again on Saturday, I just assumed we would be going to the same theater we had seen Transformers at. I even got there early and picked up tickets for them as well as a large soda and a box of butterfinger whozits (Go go AMC movie card!). It wasn't until around 10 minutes before the movie was supposed to begin that the mixup was realized and then I had to go refund the tickets. I thought about just saying 'fuck it' and going home, but as Matt pointed out, with the never-ending previews I could probably make it to the other theater without actually missing anything. He ended up being right. I got there around 20 minutes late and pretty much missed all of the trailers but none of the film itself.

So what did we see? Bourne Ultimatum. Or as Joyce summed it up, he's a spy and he's pissed. Having seen none of the previous movies, I was a bit antsy about jumping in on the third part of a trilogy. That was a pointless fear in the end. The plot wasn't nearly as important as watching Matt Damon run around going all Kung-fu Hooey on people's asses. I'm also surprised to report that his character did not see to be gay. At least not prima facie gay. I'm sure they cut out a lot of scenes where he's meeting 'assets' in dark alleys and sucking their dicks in return of government secrets. I think it's a rule that any character Matt Damon plays must be homosexual.

Anyway, the movie itself wasn't bad at all. There were the obligatory car chases and racing through crowds with sniper scopes panning around. There was no hot torrid spy sex (see: Matt Damon is gay) between the main character and any of the female characters however. He basically goes through the whole movie to find out his real name instead of the robocop alias he was given, Jason Bourne. Quite frankly, that sounds better than his real name of David Webb. Therefore my suggested followup movie of Webb Pizza Delivery as he struggles to make ends meet with a minimum wage job and not Touch-of-Death'ing people.

My only complaint about the movie is that he's all McGuyver and bullshit. Actually, that's one of my two complaints about the movie. I don't understand why he always goes and engages in this hand to hand bullshit when he's almost always got a gun. Shoot the fuckers in the face, god damnit. This isn't like some sort of Indian war where you get bonus points for counting coup. In fact, the only guy he kills in the entire stinking movie was after a protracted hand-to-hand battle and he ends up just throttling him to death. At which point I yelled out 'fatality' to the amusement of at least a couple people sitting around me.

The second thing which irked me about the movie is that it makes the CIA/NSA/Big Brother seem a hell of a lot more competant than it actually is. It's like the CSI effect in court cases where jurors expect all these new fangled forensics that are completely fictional. We're lucky if the CIA can wipe its own ass. The idea that a single phone call can send bureau swat teams to any location in the world in 5 minutes is ludicrous. I did like the entertaining, yet ridiculous, idea of having a sat-linked webcamera attached to their guns though. Hell, it's like an FPS for the code monkeys sitting back at Langley.

Anyway, other than those two points, I enjoyed the movie quite a bit. I must be mellowing a lot in my old age as it comes to movies. I find that I like the ones I do see in theaters more than I ever would have expected. It might be that there just isn't enough grumpy to go around. I've slathered it on too think in other areas of my life that there just isn't enough coverage for the movie-going experience.
Tags: chronic pain, insomnia, movie club, movie club: bourne ultimatum

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