In the darkness the trees are full of starlight (henwy) wrote,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight
henwy

  • Mood:

Here goes the new day, the same as the old day

It really feels like my life is a whole series of sine waves. The same cycles repeating over and over with peak and trough and passing through periods of stability in between. It certainly hasn't been a good month, that's for sure. One thing that does surprise me is that horrors no longer seem to really stick in my mind. It's like I've lost my long term memory when it comes to pain in large part. Really, I guess that's sort of blessing.

The whole tooth thing has finally cleared up which is just remarkable. I would have bet money that the damn thing was split like a lightning-hit tree down to the very bone. I can't even describe the non-stop pain, but it was amazingly bad. For a while, I wasn't quite sure I was going to make it through the whole ordeal with all of my sanity points intact. I'm still not certain I didn't lose on here or there. It took a long time to get fully better but now, I can chew with the damn thing again with no problems at all. Compare this to days where I actually slept with the freaking Nintendo DS stylus between my teeth on the otherside of my mouth so I didn't accidently bite down without realizing it. To date, I still have no clue what caused the abscess nor why it went completely apeshit above and beyond what an average abscess should be like. Even injections of novacaine failed to provide relief when I finally got to see the doctor and that's never happened before.

While the tooth thing has cycled back down to normal, everything else was steadily getting worse. I'm basically at a point where I'm taking the codeine on a daily regimen instead of just when I need it. A better way to say that I guess is that I need it more or less all the time. If I don't have it onboard, bad things happen. Even then it's hardly pleasant. Because of those issues, I've got the same sleep disturbance problems and that is wearying. Imagine never being able to get more than 4-5 hours of sleep at a time and you're woken up by a cattle prod that won't stop zapping for around a hour or so. At some point I'll just transition into the habit of sleeping multiple times to get the rest I need, but it's still at that point where I'm only sleeping during the overnight, which means I spend the days exhausted.

Notta new about any of that, I guess. It's a well worn cycle by now but none of it is fun to say the least. The closest I've been able to get to normalcy is I went to the game day at the Panera yesterday. It's been around 3-4 weeks since I've last seen anyone, dealing with the fubar. It was nice to do something social, even having to pay the normal cost of treking about. I broke out Portobella Market and we gave it a couple runthroughs. I'll be running it at Ubercon and it seemed to be pretty well received.
Tags: chronic pain, insomnia, the bills, toothache
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