In the darkness the trees are full of starlight (henwy) wrote,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight

  • Mood:

I should just flog it

Ever few days another damn needle. It'd be one thing if it were actually doing me any good but there's been no beneficial effect that I can see since I've started the regimen months ago. What's really galling about the whole thing, well, other than the fact that I actually had to get over my fear of needles, is that this crap costs a fortune if you buy it retail. A year's perscription of Enbrel runs something like $12,000 which is an insane amount of money. I've got a year's supply free and it does absolutely nothing for me. I feel like I should be going out and finding some poor schlub who could be helped by the meds and selling it to them. Instead, I inject this useless fluid into my leg and I can just imagine the little molecules of drug flipping me the bird.

I'm just incredibly tired of the whole thing. It just runs you down day after day like a rolling pin until you're flat enough that in a sense, you're practically transparent. I'm thinking about going back on the steroids for a while and seeing if that can buy me a week or so. To date, it's still the only thing that has ever really helped. If nothing else, I'd really like a decent night's sleep.
Tags: chronic pain, insomnia

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