In the darkness the trees are full of starlight (henwy) wrote,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight

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Operation: Happy

I'll admit that I wasn't expecting the final result to be 'Happy' on the poll. I had already been thinking about bitter rants or nonsensical gibbering in preparation. God knows either of those would be easier than happy but happy is what people voted for and happy is what I will try to provide. I had also decided early on that no matter the result, I would try to make the entry be personal rather than simply providing commentary on some news event or info that sparked a response. That, of course, is going to make this exceedingly difficult.

Happy. Happy in my life. Happy. Hmmm. I guess the only really happy thing in my life is family. It's easy to overlook it but I'm incredibly lucky that I have a family that loves me, supports me, and is helping me out. This is ecspecially true in my situation where due to medical issues, things are not all that pleasant. It's hard enough to survive completely on your own without people to lean on in some manner and it can only be worse when you're less than fully functional. I sometimes think about those who might also suffer what I do but lack the support that I have and, if it's not a happy thought, at least it's a very grateful one. This is ecspecially true because I've never felt comfortable leaning on friends for support. It's not like I don't know that they wouldn't be there if I needed the help, but I've always kept myself at a little bit of a distance. With friends I've known for all my life, I still ask little and try my best not to impose. It's just a personality quirk that's been with me from the start. You never try to lean on friends or acquaintances because they have their own lives, their own problems, and even if they deny it, it still feels like an imposition. Family is there whether you ask or not. Family cares no matter what. Without family....well, this is supposed to be a happy entry so we won't even go there. Sometimes the Hand of God comes down and flicks you in the head with the middle finger of doom and there's nothing you can do about it. It's just bad luck, or fate, or whatever. Knowing that you have people who love you and help you is the best you can hope for. (Well, other than wishing the damn finger would have flicked some other wanker)
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