Man in India marries dog as atonement
NEW DELHI - A man in southern India married a female dog in a traditional Hindu ceremony as an attempt to atone for stoning two other dogs to death — an act he believes cursed him — a newspaper reported Tuesday.
P. Selvakumar married the sari-draped former stray named Selvi, chosen by family members and then bathed and clothed for the ceremony Sunday at a Hindu temple in the southern state of Tamil Nadu, the Hindustan Times newspaper said.
Selvakumar, 33, told the paper he had been suffering since he stoned two dogs to death and hung their bodies from a tree 15 years ago.
"After that my legs and hands got paralyzed and I lost hearing in one ear," he said in the report.
The paper said an astrologer had told Selvakumar the wedding was the only way he could cure the maladies. It did not say whether his situation had improved.
Deeply superstitious people in rural India sometimes organize weddings to dogs and other animals, believing it can ward off certain curses.
The paper showed a picture of Selvakumar sitting next to the dog, which was wearing an orange sari and a flower garland.
The paper said the groom and his family then had a feast, while the dog got a bun.
Welcome to the wedding. Are you with the Bride's family or the Groom's?
Ah, the Bride's then, I assume.
I could probably also make a couple of 'doggystyle' jokes right about now but I'll spare you.
I wonder if I'm the only one curious why he ended up stoning and hanging two dogs up in a tree to begin with? Maybe it was just some sort of weirdass rural game like dead rat conkers? I guess it might be understandable if he were going to eat them afterwards. Far be it for my ethnocentrism to begrudge some other poor schlubb a dose of well-needed protein. I'll admit I would feel more sanguine about it if he were eating cats. Besides, cats breed out of control anyway and generally feed themselves. You'd probably get a lot more cat meat for the same amount of effort.
I can't wait till the first time some hindu tries to marry an animal in this country. I mean, would it count as a religious belief, of sorts? Some assorted whackjobs have tried to marry animals in the past, but mostly that's just because they're sexual deviants. I wonder if trying it on cultural grounds would fare better.
Oh, and I'm sure you'll love to see this:
Egads. I probably should have known considering the search terms I was using to find the above video but I also stumbled over this gem. Think about this the next time you complain that your job sucks.