In the darkness the trees are full of starlight (henwy) wrote,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight

  • Mood:

I feel like blah

Things generally continue to be crappy. It's crap central all the crappy crap time.

Since it's thanksgiving, I popped some steroids and a bunch of codeine, so at least I'm feeling a bit better as far as the pain issues are concerned. It was not a pleasant morning until I took the steroids. I dunno if it's something I should really be concerned about but my opiate usage has really ramped up over the past couple of months. The amount that I go through in a day now is easily 4-5 times what I used to take half a year ago. It's not longer an optional sort of thing and a dose that used to have my on the way to nausea, is just standard now.

Now, it's true that I started with pretty low doses to begin with, which is why the increase seems so dramatic. Hell, I'm still not even up to the instructed dosage on the outside of the pill bottle yet. Despite that, it's still something that has me sort of concerned. Once you get on that sort of escalator, I just don't see a way off of it. That said, it's not like I have any alternatives at the moment. Things keep getting worse and it's a hodgepodge of incapacitating agony.

Give all that, I suppose it's no wonder that I've been feeling down. My mood's been pretty subterranian for ages now and I can only expect the holiday season to exacerbate the whole thing. Feh. There's a good reason more people whack themselves at this time of year than any other. Even if you aren't prone to depression, it's easy to find bursts of melancholia. Damn Who's in Whovile. Who do they think they are, anyway?
Tags: chronic pain, holidays

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