When I finally got to the front of the line again (for the second time), I was able to pass over the documents needed and things wrapped up pretty quickly. The $3.57 ended up costing me hundreds of dollars due to a couple months of lost eligability, but by the end, I got my approval. It was certainly one of the fastest turnaround I'd ever heard of, even with the unexpected bumps in the road. Again, I guess it can only mean that I'm more fucked up than I thought compared to the rest of the schlubs who end up applying for this crap.
I just can't help but be incredibly angry and bitter over all of this as a whole. The entire process just makes me think about the loss and waste and rage.