In the darkness the trees are full of starlight (henwy) wrote,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight

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Oversized Weather Rat Makes Prediction, Hillbillies and Yokels are Amazed

Punxsutawney Phil's prediction: more winter

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pennsylvania (AP) -- Brace yourself for more wintry weather. Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow Saturday, leading the groundhog to forecast six more weeks of winter.

The rodent was pulled from his stump by members of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club Inner Circle, top-hat- and tuxedo-wearing businessmen who carry out the tradition.

Each February 2, thousands of people descend on Punxsutawney, a town of about 6,100 people some 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh, to celebrate what had essentially been a German superstition.
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The tradition is that if a hibernating animal sees a shadow on February 2 -- the Christian holiday of Candlemas -- winter will last another six weeks. If no shadow is seen, legend says spring will come early.

That was the forecast from Gen. Beauregard Lee, Punxsutawney Phil's counterpart in Lilburn, Georgia. Beau did not see his shadow Saturday morning at the Yellow River Game Ranch.

It was the third year in a row the two groundhogs' predictions differed.

This entire process has always sounded like absolute idiocy to me. It's not mentioned here but I ecspecially like how a group of judges have to get together and confer about whether or not the big rat actually saw his shadow or not. Frankly, I'd chip in some money to see someone assassinate the woodchuck with a rifle. Lets see if you can see shadows with your brains splattered all over the wanker with the top hat.

At the very least there should be some consequence for the rat being wrong. I mean, how about if after six weeks it dosen't still seem like winter the entire town gathers for a bit pot of groundhog stew. I'm thinking that might help as incentive for him to get it right. So the judges have a stake in it too, we can lop off a finger each time they get it wrong.

Also, WTF? General Beauregard Lee? Since when did we start giving these fucking rodents military ranks? I'm hoping for a fragging. Private Hadeous Limbgnawer has been patiently biding his time and soon his moment of glory will be at hand.
Tags: news

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