In the darkness the trees are full of starlight (henwy) wrote,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight

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It's so horrible you can't look away

If I were to ever weep while watching a movie, it would be right now. In anticipation of snagging the entire run of Highlander the tv show, I decided to look up the franchise on Wikipedia. I was surprised to see that another movie had come out completely without my notice starring Adrian Paul. No doubt this was due strongly to the fact that it was a made for TV movie that premiered on the Sci-fi channel. This film manages to continue Sci-fi's unbeaten streak of making films so horrible that the mind cringes back and the soul withers. It's horrible. I mean, really really really horrible. Did anyone even read this script before greenlighting it?

The worst part about it is that it looks like they actually spent some fair amount of money on the production too. You can't help but sob silently in your mind and regret what could have been if only they had spent 1/10th of the money on getting a script that worked. There are almost no words that how horrendous the wise-cracking schizophrenic anti-Christ character is. WtF were those asshats thinking?

I just know I'm going to endure even more pain watching this abortion to the end but it has me hooked. I have to know how much worse it can get

  • WTH? Haven't you ever heard of adoption or artificial insemination, you crazy bitch? Hell, go to rent-a-womb and you wouldn't even have to deal with the pregnancy.

  • I freaking hate ret-cons when it comes to this franchise. The movies make no damn sense from one to another on many major points. You'd think they could at least keep the small stuff like immortals being able to sense one another approaching.

  • Wonderful. The guardian from pre-history nonetheless speaks english, sings snippets of the Highlander theme song and mouths its catch phrases and pop culture references.

  • Hey, I've got your 'release' right here. It's called a Katana.

  • Man, Dawson took the easy way out. The rest of these poor schlubs still have 40 minutes to get through.

  • Hmm, broken sword. I guess that means there's probably a 99.9% chance that this piece of crap script will feature a magical sword at some point that only Duncan can wield.

  • Eh. There are 5 billion people in the world and you just have to boink the Virgin Mary. I sense Jesus a comin'.

  • Good going, Methos. You've been alive for something like 10,000 years or more and some wanker dressed like the evil Gorton's Fisherman almost cuts your throat.

  • WTF? Theme song montage right after killing a buncha punks on the docks? You must be shitting me. There are tougher opponents to be found at the local nunnery.

  • Didn't these morons ever watch Friday the 13th? If you fuck in the woods, you die.

  • She's going to have a buncha huge splinters in her ass by the end of this.

  • It slices! It dices! It makes thousands of Julienned fries!

  • Yeah, now that you mention it, why the fuck did they stop for the night anyway?

  • Seriously, why the hell do they always have to make the religious character the asshole of the group? WTF?

  • Man, it's going to be hilarious if Reggie comes back to life half a day after they buried his ass.

  • WTF? The gang from the docks? Are you shitting me? Who the fuck believes that those bunch of assholes would actually follow your sorry ass all this time only to attack now? BULLSHIT!

  • And they carry tranqs? Is there no end to this insanity?

  • Man, this whole thing just gets more and more unbelievable. Here we have something out of Lord of the Flies.

  • I wonder if the symbols on those knives say 'Buy one get one free'?

  • Hey moron, ever think it might be better to take the motorcycle instead of the horse? Just a thought.

  • Hey look! Not only did they planets align, they decided to zip on over and park themselves next door. I'm sure that won't cause tremendous amounts of chaos and natural disasters.

  • Damn movie looks more and more like the fucking Power Rangers

  • Just buy a sheath already, asshole.

  • This might just be the worst fight scene I have ever seen in my life.

  • My God. They're having a tornado war. I...I...there just aren't any words.

  • If she keeps spinning she's going to do her She-Ra transformation.

  • Man, I hope he's shot down by some anti-aircraft guns or something.

  • Weeee, now we get to fuck like crazied monkeys up among the stars.

  • Good grief.
Tags: movie club, tv club: highlander

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