In the darkness the trees are full of starlight (henwy) wrote,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight
henwy

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Satanic Cat Watch: Day 1680

Purina is still absolutely certain that I have a cat. I just received another email today.

Dear HENRY,

Your kitten xanadu is now 13 months old!

Oh behave! How to have a perfect cat.
Unlike their canine counterparts, cats don't typically attend obedience schools. Fortunately, good manners come second nature to most cats. The key to a well-behaved cat is being consistent with your discipline and praise. Should your cat start misbehaving, there's usually a reason. Cats don't understand human concepts like revenge so if xanadu suddenly starts acting up, it could be caused by stress, separation anxiety, or illness.

Ya, if you cat starts misbehaving by sucking out your soul, there's a good reason for that. It's eeeeevil. You should then discipline it by applying the old burlap sack and twisty-tie treatment. Then proceed to the nearest river.

While that seems to be the easiest way to deal with things, Purina seems to think that bribery works better. I'm just not sure that a handful of 'Whisker Lickin's' will keep them from serving Satan.
Tags: satanic cat watch
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