Given that things have progressively gotten worse of late and the meds are less effective, it's not really a surprise that I seldom leave the house more than once a week or so. I'm practically a shut-in. It's not really a horrible existence or anything, but it does seem sort of pathetic when viewed from society's lens. I've never much cared what other people think, but it's hard not to feel a bit regretful and resentful anyway.
It's the decline in the meds that's the real problem. Even as late as a few months ago, I could always pop a handful of pills and be guaranteed a length of functionality. It might take a while for them to kick in, but there was a certainly the pills would eventually do their job and I could do whatever needed doing. There would be a price, for sure, but that price would often be payed after the chore was done. Nowadays there's no certainty the pills will work completely. The amount I've popped today hasn't been effective at all, for instance. So now, if I were to undertake the same journey out, the price in pain would have to be payed both during and after. Is it any wonder I find it hard to pull the trigger on a deal like that.