In the darkness the trees are full of starlight (henwy) wrote,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight

  • Mood:

Nuts for winter

I've been viewing the possibility of eventually getting new pain medication along the same lines as someone writing his letter to Santa. I've been looking at charts of comparative analgesia, modes of administration, duration, half-life, etc, and I think I've decided on Levorphanol. That's what I really, really want for christmas and all the cool kids have it. Of course, the chances of me actually getting to a doctor much less actually being able to order drugs like it was off a drive-through menu is sort of suspect. The medicaid system is, of course, a lot more screwy than I ever thought it would be. I have no clue where to get information to cut through the red tape and all I can find are scare articles about people unable to find doctors because the federal government doesn't pay enough compared to private insurance. I figure any good doctor has opted out altogether. After all, if you spend 15 minutes with each patient no matter what, why would you choose to be reimbursed $50 instead of $100. The only doctors who likely still take it are those who can't find enough patients because they're flawed or incompetent. Then again, that's not exactly a huge hardship for me. I don't exactly need a doctor who knows what he's doing, just one that has a prescription pad and can sign his name.

Anyway, my solution so far has been to let my sister try to track down a doctor for me. She seems to be entangled in the same bureaucratic mess so God knows when I'll actually get to see a doctor. The countdown on my pills have already started. I've got 20 tabs of Tylenol-4 left and after that, it's down to my panic stash.

Back in the day, when I first started having issues, it was hard to get doctors to prescribe diddily squat. I used to hoard medication like a squirrel hoarding nuts. I would pop ibuprofen like it was candy and try to save every single opiate I could. I even poached leftovers from the prescription of family members when they were prescribed pills for things like wisdom teeth extraction or whatever. Over the years, that sort of mass rationing purchased with pain and discomfort have gotten my a small pill bottle filled with mostly percoet and vicodin. 47 and a half tabs of varying strengths and some of it more than 5 years old. It's pathetic, really, when you think about it. No wonder I fucking hate doctors. Just thinking about having to hoard those pills for all those years.....I could rip someone's throat out with my teeth.
Tags: chronic pain, drugs

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