In the darkness the trees are full of starlight (henwy) wrote,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight

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Why oh why have the pizza gods forsaken us?

I'll never understand why chicagoans can't make pizza. I don't comprehend it. I'm sitting here looking at a thin crust monstrosity and it's making me want to puke. How can an entire slab of the country simply fail to make decent pizza? How hard could it possibly be? I haven't been able to find a non-deepdish pizza that I can choke down in this city since arriving here and I just don't fucking understand how that can possibly be. It's simply dough, sauce, and cheese. A monkey with downs syndrome should be able to put one together completely by accident given the materials. Instead, all they have here is the most atrotious cracker pizza you can imagine. It's like someone decided to throw cheese and tomato sauce on a sheet of saltines and then back the entire mess. It's nasty as hell and I'm pissed off. If it's not cracker pizza it's just as thin but so soggy that you have to scrape it out of the box with a spatula. WHY? WHY GOD WHY?

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