That said, there are times I wish I could convey the horror simply because it's horrible and I'm pissed or distraught or just lost. While the pain issues rise and ebb, the whole progression of the issue does the same. I'm in the midst of a rise period and that always brings extra amounts of pain and unpleasantness. That's an added burden this time because Dexcon begins tomorrow and I absolutely hate wasting money by not attending things I've paid for. I had already decided that I wasn't going to run any games this year, what with my issues and all, and I was hoping that freedom would make things better. It's not necessary that I spend day and night there as I've done in the past, but it's an opportunity to see people that I don't get to see all that often.
Even worse than dexcon, gencon is only in a few more weeks. If I think about it, I'm just going to panic and so I'm trying to put it out of my mind for now. I keep putting my fingertips together but nothing happens. I can only hope that things get better at some point.