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This is your life

Ever take a look at your life and wonder why you haven't put a gun in your mouth and pulled the trigger yet? I'm having one of those retrospective moments right now. I mean, look at my situation. Life has pretty much fucked me in ass and then didn't even have the courtesy to call me the next day. I pop pain pills like candy to keep Stabby McOwie away, I'm practically a shutin, I have no prospects for things getting better, and there are almost no real positive points in my life right now. All that being said, I've been relatively chipper these past few days. I have no idea why. Part of the current stoic mood might be due to the buoying effects of caramel popcorn. It's very likely that after this bag of popcorn is gone, I'll go back to wishing I was dead and could take the world with me. Maybe the bag is spiked with happy juice, made from the pulped remains of dozens of chipper pixies. Damned if I understand it.

I'm sure all this relative goodwill will soon filter away. I just find it sort of amusing that it's stuck around for this long.


( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 22nd, 2009 02:48 am (UTC)
yes you can
in correlation implies causation news: obama was sworn in as president and you are in a good mood. IPSO! FACTO!
Jan. 22nd, 2009 04:06 am (UTC)
Ever take a look at your life and wonder why you haven't put a gun in your mouth and pulled the trigger yet?

Every single day, kiddo... every single fucking day.

And the weird thing is that I'm not really suffering from any depression right now. (I went through a bout of depression back in '99 once... haven't ever felt like that since then, so I'm assuming I'm not going through depression now.)

I think I just feel this way because I'm pretty indifferent about life right now.. somewhere along the lines of "What's the point?" On the flip side, I somehow think my life's going to improve greatly next year when I move. I'm fully expecting to be disappointed, though. ;p

The great thing about being pessimistic? If you're right, you can say "I told you so!" If you're wrong, you're pleasantly surprised. It's a win-win situation.
Jan. 22nd, 2009 07:08 am (UTC)
I'll bet you things would look much better with a truckload of alimony. Hell, if you don't want it, I'll take it.
Jan. 22nd, 2009 08:32 am (UTC)

I'd just fuck up the money thing. I'd probably buy a place I couldn't afford, fill it with furniture I couldn't afford, go places I couldn't afford, and then have all kinds of credit card companies/collections agencies calling me day and night.

I've been poor nearly my entire life, (up until the marriage.) I'm pretty sure that if I *had* money, I wouldn't know what to do with it, and I'd either A-spend it like it was growin' on trees, or B-probably horde it.
Jan. 22nd, 2009 05:03 pm (UTC)
I could hold it in trust for you. Each month, I can dole out a little of the money so you can spend it on malt liquor, lottery tickets, and cigarettes. I'll keep the rest safe so you don't end up splurging it all away.
Jan. 22nd, 2009 04:06 am (UTC)
i hope the happy stays for a little while, even if you don't know where it comes from.
Jan. 22nd, 2009 07:10 am (UTC)
It could be alien microwaves.
Jan. 22nd, 2009 04:26 am (UTC)
i haven't put a gun in my mouth yet because there is way too much beer left in the world to consume.
Jan. 22nd, 2009 07:09 am (UTC)
Beer is beyond vile. I've never understood people's interest in it. It tastes like crap. People should drink milkshakes instead.
Jan. 22nd, 2009 03:45 pm (UTC)
milkshakes don't get you laid though. :)
Jan. 22nd, 2009 05:04 pm (UTC)
Are you sure? Maybe I just haven't had enough milkshakes yet.
Jan. 22nd, 2009 08:34 am (UTC)
I agree whole-heartedly with this statement.

Mmmmm, beer. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. :D
Jan. 22nd, 2009 03:43 pm (UTC)
it's magical :)
Jan. 22nd, 2009 04:44 am (UTC)
it means nothing, but i enjoy reading your entries.
Jan. 22nd, 2009 07:11 am (UTC)
Think I could start charging people a subscription fee?

Me neither.
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )


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