I really wish I could hit the lottery or some such. I'll bet anything that half the country probably has a thought like that at least once a week, but my motivation is probably a little unusual. I don't want the money out of some sort of financial desperation. I don't have any outstanding bills or debts and there aren't bill collectors hounding me. I also don't really want to buy anything with my newfound lucre. I'm sure there are people out there dreaming about buying cars or big screen tv's or tons of various luxury goods. I could see hitting a jackpot and then just putting it all into the bank without spending anything significant. What I would really want the money for is to not feel like such a failure. It's hard not to look at my life and feel disappointed by the outcome.
I was talking with Bill S about this at the last Panera gameday and made some similar comments. His take on it was to ask me why the sum of a person's worth in my mind was so linked to cash. The argument being that my life could have value if I were simply a good son, a good brother, a good uncle, or merely a good human being. I managed to resist scoffing at the idea but it was a close thing. It's not like I believe that there aren't truly good people out there whose value goes far beyond their financial worth. I just don't think that I could ever achieve that.