In the darkness the trees are full of starlight (henwy) wrote,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight

  • Mood:

It's like God's little joke

I've decided that having good days as far as pain goes only serves to make the bad days feel that much worse. For a while, things were going pretty good as far as pain management went. There were days where I didn't even take my full complement of pills. Instead of every 8 hours, I started just taking it whenever I started to feel a twinge and it would kick in before anything really unpleasant happened. Those days are over. Things have gotten crappy but the problem is that I got sort of used to not following a pill popping schedule. That means that I'm often a bit late and I end up paying for it. It just doesn't seem to crank up nearly as quickly as it used to.

Pain issues aside, my mom's been bugging me to go see the doctor. That last trip where I racked up a 220 blood pressure freaked her out. I chalked it up to the turmoil in my life at the time but it's not like I've had my blood pressure tested since to verify. The doctor was sort of disturbed and wanted me to go for blood tests and to see my primary care physician to possibly get some blood pressure meds. So far, I've avoided doing either. I don't like needles, I don't like doctors, and I don't wanna go anywhere. Besides, I've never quite decided that a catastrophic heart attack (or something similar) would be a bad thing. I'd just have to scribble DNR on my forehead before I pass out.

Oh, and sleep issues have become a problem. I've been suffering some really obnoxious back pain during sleep lately. It means that I usually wake up after sleeping for 2-3 hours and have to shift position to alleviate the pain. Of course, shifting around produces other pain and any new position only provides relief for another 2-3 hours. All of this means that I've got insomnia out the wazoo. Needless to say, the sleep isn't exactly restful either and I feel sort of like I'm dragging myself through another one of those pain-spiked, endless twilight.
Tags: back pain, chronic pain, insomnia

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