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The slide to rapture

I feel pretty awful lately. I'm not sure why exactly, but I get exhausted doing the most basic things the past few days. Even just walking around tires me out in a way it never has before. Now, I understand that as someone who is almost a shut-in, I am hardly going to function at peak physical condition. I also understand that prolonged lack of activity will probably turn your muscles to mush and lather up your heart with the equivalent of crisco. All of that being said, I think it's pretty disturbing that I can't wander around more than a little distance without feeling like crap. I can't help but feel like I'm just prepping myself for a heart attack.

I was walking through a walmart a couple days ago looking for their site-to-store kiosk which ended up being hidden in an alcove next to a set of bathrooms. Since there were no fucking signs anywhere, I ended up walking from one end of the store to the other and then back again. By the time I finished this trek my face had turned 5 different shades of red and I was feeling incredibly gimpy. Now, at first I thought it could be the blood pressure medication I was just prescribed and had just started taking that morning, but I checked online and flushing didn't seem to be one of the side effects. I guess it could still be something related to the drug though since in decreasing my blood pressure it could also be affecting my cardiac output. Less blood pumped should mean less energy. The problem is that it's not supposed to significant affect that, though fatigue and weakness are listed side effects.

Anyway, I'm not sure quite what to do about it. Normally I would chalk it up to just another indication my life is going to pot and then just ignore the situation until it kills me. The problem in dealing with it like I deal with all the rest of my problems is I'm supposed to fly out to Chicago in around a week for True Realm and as I'm feeling now, I'm not sure I could drag a suitcase around with me and not feel the need to keel over after some minor distance. I guess all I can hope is that all of this is due to the drug's effects and that maybe I'll adjust to it within the week or so. If not, it's going to be a pretty pathetic journey since I'll probably have to end up stopping ever 50 feet whenever going anywhere just to make sure I don't fall over dead.



( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 23rd, 2009 01:10 pm (UTC)
Are you on any anti depressants? have you considered them?
Mar. 24th, 2009 02:43 pm (UTC)
Depression is for those without real reasons to be unhappy.
Mar. 23rd, 2009 08:28 pm (UTC)
Even the change from going to work and sitting in the cubicle all day long with occaisional walks around to talk to colleges, to sitting all day in the house while on disability has caused a major, noticible change in my physical capability. I'm trying desperately to get myself into some sort of regular movement, weather exercises or just 20 mins of housecleaning a day.

You are also probably feeling down because of the birthday comming up and your contemplation recently of where you life has and hasn't gone. You may need to contact the airport for help with getting from one spot to another.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )


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