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Stealing from The Man

Quite a while back I read about a settlement involving that Airborne nasal spray that's supposed to defend against colds or the flu or plague or something. It turns out that they were full of crap and some lawyers got greedy and, well, in the end there was a multi-million dollar settlement. Now, I've never personally bought any of this crap but I figured I would apply to get a piece of the settlement regardless. I figured there was no reason not to try. As long as you were only claiming to have purchased a limited number of these items you didn't even provide proof of purchase or any evidence at all. Honestly, I figured my chances of actually getting a dime from this were slim to none. Even if the settlement terms worked like they were supposed to, any payment would be based on the number of claimants. I figured there were at least millions of other greedy unscrupulous people out there who would also take their shot and see what happened. Any decent amount of money divided by the masses would probably leave each person enough to buy a pack of gum, if that.

So, imagine my surprise when I opened up an letter today to find a check for $41.94. Isn't that amazing? It's like free mana from heaven. Normally, I might feel a bit ambivalent about lying for money, but I figure this is about as close to a victimless crime as it gets. No doubt the lawyers in this case got the lion's share of the settlement, but it seems that there was enough to go around that everyone got a little something. No reason to look a gift horse in the mouth I guess.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 24th, 2009 01:31 pm (UTC)
'Normally, I might feel a bit ambivalent about lying for money'

I would have done it without feeling any ambivalence.
Mar. 24th, 2009 02:42 pm (UTC)
Well, of course not. If you could manage the umbrella thing I'd imagine this would be easy. Something like that would gnaw at me. Well, unless the umbrella belonged to someone I didn't like on sight. Then it might be okay.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


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