Anyway, this is not supposed to be a rant about what cousin-fucking pedophile in a turban did or did not to do spawn a religion with a current generation full of fucking terrorists. This is about Jesus. In short, Jesus makes me sort of uncomfortable. I can wrap my mind around God. A super omnipotent being who created the world and universe in which we dwell and for moral reasons now ceases to overtly interfere and instead simply watches over his creation with a benevolent, yet inscrutable gaze. I kinda like the idea, though my belief, or faith if you will, in the concept often wavers. I figure it's probably impossible to know the mind of God, after all, if the omnipotence we attribute to him is true, he is so far beyond us as we are beyond bacteria or one celled organisms. Imagine asking a paramecium in its own terms to explain the concept of a human being. Anyway, all of that cosmic inscrutability is fine with me and I even find it sort of comforting. Where I have a problem with the whole thing is Jesus.
I've always found Jesus to be a bit of a problem. It doesn't help that he looks like a dirty hippie which as far as I'm concerned gives him a strike or two right off the bat. It's also not like I would expect him to have emerged all clean-cut and dressed in a business suit. Still, would suitably groomed just be too much to ask for?
Jesus also raises serious problems with my concept of God. The idea of a generally benevolent but handsoff deity sort of goes out the window when he runs around impregnating earth women and spawning offspring. I mean, WTF? Would you go and impregnate a hamster if you could? I don't even care if it's a sexy-looking hamster with come-hither eyes and seemed to be consenting. It's just one of those lines I'm not sure should be crossed. There's also the fact that it's distinctly possible that Jesus is not the son of God but someone with a really good dose of paranoid schizophrenia. It's not like there was anyone qualified at the time to really diagnose the condition much less find the herbal equivalent of haldol to treat it. He could simply be crazy and really, who would even know?
The disturbing part is many of the lovely dovey parts of the bible is in the new testament and comes directly out of Jesus. As some have said before, the New Testament is where God got religion. He was sort of a douche in the old Testament, neither handsoff nor all that benevolent at times. So what happens to my paltry and wavering faith in God if I want to believe the benevolence that comes out of Jesus but don't like the whole Jesus idea to begin with? Do things automatically default back to a dark, vengeful and pissy God?
I guess in this case it's just one of those situations where I actually hope I'm wrong and all the Jesus believers out there are right. The entire concept of Jesus might give me the willies, but it's certainly possible that everything happened just as Christians believe. Certainly I think most of us would rather face the kindly, benevolent God at the end of our days than the one who played the equivalent of supernatural craps with the lives for men for shits and giggles. So are you out there, Jesus? I could use a sign of some sort. And a chocolate bunny if it's not too much trouble.