I was reading an update on the Naruto manga and it reminded me of the whole mortgage and foreclosure situation. In the latest story arc, Pain (bigass evil dude) apparently goes all Godzilla on the village, killing tons of people including a shitload of main characters. Tsundae (who happens to be the leader of the village) goes out and fights him but even with her abilities, gets smacked around and it's only because of her amazing recovery powers that she doesn't die and is instead rendered comatose. The battle continues and eventually Naruto kicks the bad guy's ass and teaches him the meaning of Christmas. Well, okay, not really but close enough. The bad guy repents and as a final act of contrition, uses all of his remaining life energy to bring back all of those who have died in one giant squishy dues ex machina.

Now, the dick of it is that because Tsunade didn't actually die, she's the only person who's basically been clusterfucked by this encounter. If she hadn't been as resilient and strong and simply succumbed, she'd be doing just fine. Of course, if she had been the protagonist and had godly superpowers like Naruto, she would have survived as well. Instead, because she was better than average and planned ahead with her regenerative powers, she gets boned.

It got me thinking that this is exactly like the mortgage crisis we face now. If you are of Naruto calibur (read: filthy rich) then things don't really affect you all that much. If you were weak or stupid, buying a home that you couldn't really afford or making dumbass choices like getting an adjustable mortgage and just assume you could keep refinancing, the government will bail you out and 'bring you back to life' just like those crushed by Pain. Of course, if you were one of those responsible chumps who were fiscally responsible in either never buying in the first place or buying something within your means, you sort of get boned just like Tsunade. She probably wishes she had just died like the others and thus could be brought back with no downside. Instead, even if she does survive the amount of energy she spent to maintain her regenerative powers will severely reduce her remaining lifespan. It's not just a dick move, it's a double dick move.

In this end, this is why I hate bailouts and dues ex machina. It just doesn't seem fair that the least deserving assholes out there are the ones who get the help. The ones who might actually deserve it are usually doing just well enough because of planning and forethought that no one wants to give them anything to begin with.

So what do you think? Should I teach a class called Naruto and economic theory?