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Rules for highly successful pirates

I ran across a list from a webcomic of rules for being a successful pirate. Based on the list, I'm thinking of giving the comic a look at some point. It's called Shlock Mercenary and has been around for years apparently. I look at this somewhat like the Evil Overlord list. Sure, it's unlikely to come in handy in any specifically referenced instance, but there are a great many life lessons you can adapt from it. For instance, I think Rule #30 has been a personal motto of mine for years.

  • * Rule #1: Pillage, then burn.

  • * Rule #2: A Sergeant in motion outranks a Lieutenant who doesn't know what's going on.

  • * Rule #3: An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks EVERYBODY.

  • * Rule #4: Close air support covereth a multitude of sins.

  • * Rule #6: If violence wasn't your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.

  • * Rule #8: Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's on the far side of the airlock.

  • * Rule #9: Never turn your back on an enemy.

  • * Rule #10: Sometimes the only way out is through...through the hull

  • * Rule #11: Everything is air-droppable at least once

  • * Rule #12: A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head.

  • * Rule #13: Do unto others.

  • * Rule #16: Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth.

  • * Rule #27: Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.

  • * Rule #29: The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy, no more, no less.

  • * Rule #30: A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.

  • * Rule #31: Only cheaters prosper.

  • * Rule #34: If you're leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun.

  • * Rule #35: That which does not kill you has made a tactical error.

  • * Rule #36: When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support.

  • * Rule #37: There is no "overkill". There is only "open fire" and "I need to reload".


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Nov. 24th, 2009 01:18 am (UTC)
Turns out the series is even older than I thought. Hell, even nowadays more than a 4-5 year history is considered pretty ancient for a webcomic. I can't even imagine one that's been running near a decade.

I imagine it's like certain books but more so. Webcomics probably need a shitload of time to mature and 'find their voice'. After all, at least with novels and crap there are editors who are there to help out. The sad part there is you either start from the beginning and slog through shoddy work to get a full history or start near the middle which is better in quality but you're missing the backstory
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )


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